you could do better [dylan]

[Marco Del Rossi]

Why the hell did he do this? Problems weren't dealt with by drinking. He could tell anyone that. And he believed it strongly. But, for some reason, it felt like a good idea that night. Ben was on his mind again. It was always Ben. There was no getting over him! No matter what he thought or what he did, he was always in the back of his mind and he was definitely in his heart. He wanted to forget about him and so he drank. He didn't drink all the time, it was just something that he was doing on weekends, when he had the time and no responsibility to take care of. It wasn't a big deal, but he made stupid choices; like the one he was about to make. He felt alone. And there was one other person that made him feel... Not so alone. Someone that had still wanted him, even when he didn't actually want him. He definitely wasn't going to dial Ben's number.

The number he wound up dialling was Dylan's. He was on the street, outside of the bar, because he got tired of being crammed in there and there were no guys he could imagine just falling for, because he wanted the comfort. He couldn't drive and he knew that, and he didn't want anyone else involved. So, he hoped Dylan was in town; hoped he could just show up and help him. "Dylan? Dylan..." He wasn't sure if he had gotten the voicemail or if Dylan actually answered. "Be in Toronto, please tell me you're in Toronto." It was probably bad that he called; probably irresponsible and weird given he was already pretty drunk. Especially when he wasn't sure if he even picked up. But, right now, he really needed him to be there. At least, he thought he did.

[Deleted]

Of all people, Dylan did not expect a phone call from Marco. He had some pretty interesting run-ins, and by now he knew more than he should about Ben and Marco from Ben's side; his precious new boyfriend wasn't faithful at all. But he never expected to hear from Marco. Not after having tried to seduce him--and losing. He figured he had burned bridges, which is why he left to begin with. But, Brandon found out that he wasn't working and made him come back. Which turned out to be a good thing, actually. Because Marco called. And when Dylan picked up, he asked if he was in Toronto.

"Marco?" he questioned and blinked back his surprise. "Yeah. I'm in Toronto. What's going on?" He knew what he wanted to be his reason. But it might not be. Dylan had hopeful thinking though. After all, things had obviously changed if a man named Jonathan was dating Ben. Jonathan was an ass, too. Dylan would never date him. He was good for a one-night-stand though.

[Marco Del Rossi]

He shouldn't have been so relieved to hear his voice on the other end. It might have been better if he hadn't. Better than Marco making any wrong choices. But, was it a wrong choice? The man he loved was with someone else. And it wasn't as if Dylan was someone random. He wasn't calling on some guy he barely knew, or trying to cling to a random guy he met at a bar. It was his exboyfriend and someone that at one point he had loved. It might not have been the same love he had for Ben and would never be again. But, he had been his first; first love, first heartbreak, all of it. And he would always care about him. Even when he pissed him off and made him want to strangle him. Dylan was a part of his history. It hurt too much to think of Ben as part of the past. Because, he hadn't moved on. He never got even close and he didn't know he ever would. But, right now, he was drunk and he needed someone. He needed someone desperately and Dylan's name was the one that came up.

"You busy? I just... I need someone. I'm at a bar; outside. I've got an address. Just come." He said, watching the cars go past him. He wanted out of there. He didn't want to linger around. He was already drunk enough and he wasn't going to try to find a bus or a cab. And he definitely wasn't going to stumble around until he found somewhere to go. He wanted one person. Well, he wanted someone else too. But, there was only one that he knew, almost for sure, that would go to him. And why wouldn't he? All those times he didn't want him, he was there, so he hoped like hell he'd be there when he did want him.

[Deleted]

Dylan listened to him. He sounded heartbroken. Part of him knew this was rebound. Marco would never be calling him if Ben wasn't off with someone else. And picking him up would be pretty heart wrenching. At the same time, Dylan missed Marco. He wanted to be with him again. Even if it was just for one night. Standing up, he grabbed his car keys and jacket and headed out the door. "Sure. What's the address? I'll come get you."

Dylan pushed all thoughts that maybe he shouldn't really be doing this aside. He threw caution aside, as always, and left his place. Brandon would be fine on his own, he decided. The kid acted more adult than him anyway. Not that he would admit to it. He wouldn't But his son was what kept him going. He headed to the car and unlocked it as he listened for the address. He wondered which bar the man ended up at. And why he was drinking to begin with.

[Marco Del Rossi]

This was his desperation and drunkenness making all of the decisions for him. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to be rational; he just wanted someone-- someone who cared about him, who wanted him and that he could cling to and pretend for the night that it was all right and that he had that. He knew it was fake, because he wasn't in love with Dylan any more. He hadn't been in a long time, since he was nothing but a kid himself. It had been twenty years since he met Dylan, since he was nothing more than Paige's hot older brother. And he'd become a lot of things to him. And Marco had loved him and everything they had was special and always would be; as anyone's first was. But, he wasn't the one. And he believed in that kind of romantic notion. He lost the one that was supposed to be that. Ben was who he was in love with; who had memories over the last seventeen years of being genuinely happy. Sure, they had their fights and splits. But they also had a family and god... He missed all of it.

Marco had to settle for something else tonight; something that'd warm him and take away the coldness of being so damn lonely. Why couldn't he be alone? He seemed to do terrible at it when it happened. He wasn't even sure how it turned out that way. Had he been that wrong to Ben? That bad? He knew it wasn't his fault he cheated; he'd be stupid if he ever blamed himself. But, it still hurt and he wouldn't stand for it either. Now to think of him with someone else, it made him sick. He shook it off. "Right, here," He began and relayed the address off quickly. "Just get here quick, all right?"

[Deleted]

Dylan quickly wrote the information down and nodded. "Yeah, no problem." As he hung up, he smiled at the address. Wow. Last he had heard, Marco was untouchable. He was the fruit in the garden of Eden. Dylan didn't know what had changed. Something obviously had. Marco was married, and Ben hadn't liked it when Dylan even went so far as to have lunch with Marco.

He wasn't going to pass up the opportunity, though. Something had changed. Dylan was taking advantage of it. He had rushed to the car, and made his way over with the use of GPS. When he saw the dark-headed man, Dylan smiled. Pulling over, he rolled down the window. "you know, you're supposed to bring taxi money if you're gonna drink" he teased him, reaching over and unlocking the door. "Hop in"

[Marco Del Rossi]

Marco waited for Dylan to show up. The seconds felt like they were dragging by so slowly. He didn't want to care that he probably should just find a taxi and go home. He didn't want to. He was alone and he didn't want to be. But, he couldn't go back to Ben, because Ben had someone else. And the one person that crossed his mind that wasn't his husband was Dylan. At least he could count on feeling wanted. Right now, he didn't at all. But, when Dylan agreed to come, he felt some relief. He just needed someone right now. It wasn't as if he was doing anything wrong. He was separated from his husband and he was living with another man. So, it was okay to see someone else out.

As he pulled over, Marco immediately climbed into the car and shook his head. "I didn't want a taxi. I wanted you." He told him, and at least he was honest. He could have afforded a taxi if he wanted to. Or he could have called someone else. But, he chose Dylan deliberately. "Can we go back to your place?" He asked, looking to him, eyes almost pleading for a yes.

[Deleted]

Take him back to his place? Dylan looked at Marco. He would love nothing more than to take him back to his place. Dylan had missed everything about Marco; His touch, his laugh, the way his voice raised when he was freaked out. Looking at him now, Dylan brought back to memory their first date, with the bee. Marco had been so adorable, yelling and jumping around, trying to get the bee to get away from him. Dylan had smiled, and let out a small laugh. God, they were so young then. It was before he had cheated. Before everything changed between the two of them. He would love to have that back.

But they weren't teenagers anymore. Dylan's eyes looked down at the wedding ring. With a sigh, he stared ahead, picking at a loose strand on his steering wheel cover. "You sure that's a smart thing to do? What about Ben?" He didn't mind being used to make him jealous. What he minded was an angry husband at his door wanting to brawl because he had slept with him. That just wasn't his idea of fun.

[Marco Del Rossi]

He was past rational. Marco was past thinking about himself as being smart, or thoughtful tonight. He'd had too much to drink for that and purposely so. He wanted to force his inhibitions to the floor. He wanted to stifle every bit of emotion that boiled inside of him and forget. He needed Dylan to make it go away further. He needed to have some suspension of belief. Maybe he could pretend that Ben didn't matter. That what he had done didn't feel like a knife had been dug in and that being separated didn't help, nor did it make him feel better. He got better at getting out, sure. He was able to pull himself up, to bury himself in work and to find clubs at night to frequent--all the while making sure the kids he had were still alive. There were always distractions, but it was never quite enough.

On a sober day, he'd know it wasn't the right thing to do. He'd know that what he was putting on Dylan right now probably wasn't either. Glancing down at his ring, he pulled it off. It was something that he refused to do, generally. But, it was an anchor right now and he needed to be a lot further out to sea. With it off, he tossed it onto the dashboard as if to prove a point--a painful one, but a point still. "Who cares about Ben?" He did. He cared, and even as drunk as he was, it sounded more bitter and hurt than the indifference that he was trying so hard to hang onto. He didn't want Dylan to see that, even if he was probably more transparent to him than he hoped.

[Deleted]

Dylan wasn't an idiot. His son might argue the contrary, and most often was annoyed with idiotic things he did. But while he didn't make the smartest choices, he himself was no moron. Of course he could tell that Marco didn't mean a word he was saying. Who cared about Ben? Marco did. This was nothing new. Marco had cared about Ben for years now. Dylan had tried to change that earlier in the year, but couldn't. It was why he had chosen to leave, jobless, and go to California. It was what led him to lying to his son about working. And it was why he never wanted to return, though wasn't given much of a choice once his son learned the truth. And honestly, he did care enough about Marco to care that he was lying about not caring about Ben. The problem? Dylan was thinking with the wrong part of his anatomy tonight.

So when Marco gave his answer, even though Dylan knew he didn't mean it, he decided to take his answer at face value. With a nod, he put his eyes to the street. "All right. My place it is." He knew what would come in the morning. Mostly self-loathing and regret. And probably a lecture from his son if Brandon were to find out. But at this point, he felt a sense of entitlement. After all, at this point Ben was no better than he was; the two had both cheated on Marco. And Ben had seventeen years with the dark-haired man. He decided it was his turn for one night. So, with that, he began to head for his apartment.

[Marco Del Rossi]

Marco didn't know how he'd feel in the morning. He didn't care how many regrets plagued him later, because why should he regret it? Ben had someone else. And while Marco was still too invested in what they had, there was nothing wrong with what he did here. It might not have been right, because he knew he wasn't in love with Dylan anymore. That ship had sailed a long time ago. But, this didn't have to be about that. What Marco wanted was to feel wanted. Their history wasn't a deterrent tonight. It was what drew him to him. Because, he knew how he'd made him feel once. And maybe, going to him would take Ben out of his head. He could forget tonight--he could forget himself.

When he agreed, he sighed, almost relieved that he didn't continue to question it. He didn't want to talk about Ben. He was trying to forget about him. It didn't matter if he was the one he wanted to be with, or that it was Ben that he was both angry and hurt by. He needed to get him out of his head. And he knew that he shouldn't have used Dylan for that. It wasn't fair to either of them. But, right now, it was what he wanted. "Good."Was all he said. He just wanted to get there.

[Deleted]

Dylan knew exactly what he would be feeling in the morning. It was the same thing every time. He would have nights of heat and passion, followed by self-loathing and regret. Common sense told him it wasn't a good idea. But he was lonely, and fuck, he was horny as hell. Just looking at Marco made him want to tear his clothes off. He could deal with a little self-loathing. But what if Marco didn't have that in mind? What if he just wanted someone to listen? Dylan had no interest in listening to his ex whine about his husband. He wanted to make that clear. So, he leaned in and kissed him quickly. If that didn't tell Marco his intentions, then he didn't know what would. But he was sure that Marco could figure it out. After all, he was a smart man.

After pulling away, he put the car into gear and headed to his place. It was small, but he didn't need much space. Not until he had saved up some money again. As soon as he parked in the driveway, he took the keys out and headed for the door. He intended to run Brandon off, but as he unlocked the front door and peeked inside, he didn't see him. Maybe he was off with Oceana, he didn't know. The truth was, Dylan didn't really keep track of his son as much as he should. It was something that he knew he should do a better job of. But Brandon was a good kid. Dylan had all the trust in the world in that boy. He looked over his shoulder, and gave a small smile. "Home sweet home. It's not much."