we still have everything (jessa)

[Deleted]

The worst was over. Well, kind of. Ben wasn't going to take a belt to him, but he would have to face the talker. Marco wasn't going to be happy. What could Matt say? Big thugs made him do it? Shit. Now he was starting to sound like Aidan. That wasn't good. But for what it was worth, it had nothing to do with Brandon or JJ. In fact, the six boys involved had never been up against Matt. Though, he doubted his dad would see that as a good thing. But it wasn't really his fault. That is to say, he didn't start it. It all started with someone's idea of a joke.

Matt had been en route to his final class of the day. It had been rough, and every moment not spent in class was spent between the nurse's office for medication and the library. So when the flyer flew out of a locker and into Matt's lap, he had never seen it before. Now, had he not caught a glimpse of his baby sister, Matt wouldn't have given it a second's notice. But that was Jessa. Matt was so angry that his hand shook. She had been a hero at the dance. And this is how they repaid her?!

And then, of course, the dick who had lost the flyer decided to ask for it back. Matt didn't know him. He was just some football player. It didn't matter, though. Not to the teenager. Instead of handing it back, he spat in the guy's face and rolled over his foot. That was when another guy walked over and stood in front of his chair, while a third went up from behind him and grabbed the handles of his chair. Matt only had time to take a swing at Jock number two before his chair was turned over, toppling Matt on his stomach against the cold, hallway floor. The rest was all a blur.

The fight, if you could even call it that, wasn't fair in the least. Three others from the football team joined rank and the six guys went to work. Matt was kicked, punched, his head slammed against the floor. By the time they were broken up by one of the teachers, he had a bruised stomach, two black eyes, a bloody nose, and pretty battered legs. He was helped back in his chair and escorted to the nurse before Snyder decided that Matt must have provoked his precious football players for them to do such a thing and suspended him. Whatever. He didn't want to be there anyways.

Matt was lying in his bed now, bruised and sore. But it was all worth it. The ass never did get his flyer back. The entire time, Matt had kept it clenched in his hand. And there it stayed, even now. Matt was too beaten to explain to Ben why it happened or how he shouldn't even be suspended. That it had been for Jessa. His baby sister. He would have been wasting his breathe, anyway. Ben didn't listen, just like he didn't talk.

[Jessa JoAnna Del Rossi]

God, Jessa was beginning to hate school with a passion. It was easier before. Before anyone even knew. Maybe some would think that she should be mad at her brother. But Jessa just did not have the energy to do so. She did not really have the energy to fight any of this anymore. Maybe this was all of her own fault. Maybe ever going to Degrassi was a mistake. She had been skipping school a lot lately. Not like anyone cared. No one knew what it was like for her there anymore. She was nothing more than some loner freak. She had not told anyone about what was going on. And she almost thought her siblings that went to this school might not care. After all, they never said anything and how could they not know about what was going on there.

It was in her final class when Jessa had learned something horrible. Yasmine had told her the entire story and how he had been suspended from school. He should not have done that. It was a stupid thing to do. It was official. Her brother must have been an idiot. Six guys?! Was her brother fucking crazy? He must have been. She did not care what her teacher was saying. Jess just grabbed her things and walked right out of class and out of the school. Whatever. She did not care about school anymore anyway. All because of the kids at that school.

Once home, Jessa walked up to her room real quick to drop of her own things. And then she headed to Matt’s room. Without knocking, she opened the door and walked on inside, shutting the door behind her. Her eyes narrowed in on her brother as she folded her arms over her chest. “Tell me one thing, Matt. What the hell were you thinking, huh?”

[Deleted]

Nobody knew what the teenager did to take care of his family. When he found out Hayleigh had her first boyfriend, he had cornered the kid and told him what he would do to him if he broke her heart. And then he DID. Matt had stolen the kid's clothes in gym. The boy had nothing but a towel. And if the sub hadn't walked in, he would have taken that, too. There wasn't ANYTHING he wouldn't do for his sisters and Aidan, who was practically a sister. The boy had dressed in drag on their cruise!

When Jessa appeared, Matt looked at her with a sad look as he set the flyer down beside him. ''I was thinking this damn disabled shit wasn't going to keep me from wringing the boy's neck. Turns out, he had friends.'' He spoke gently, pushing his body over to one side. ''Come here, Kermit'' he softened his tone more, calling her by the nickname he had given her as a kid. ''Don't worry. It was worth it. And they did such a good job on me, I won't be getting the belt. So that's a plus.'' He knew she was incapable of SHOWING emotions. That DIDN'T mean she didn't HAVE any.

[Jessa JoAnna Del Rossi]

This just could not be happening. She did not want anyone knowing the hell she was undergoing at school ever since the dance. She tried to hide that from everyone at home. The truth was, Jessa had always been ashamed of the truth. The truth about her medical illness. And okay, so maybe that was one thing Jessa could not control, but she was still ashamed of it. It made her feel like a freak, like she was not normal. But her CIPA was one topic she often tried to avoid talking about. She hated to be reminded of how much of a freak she really was daily. She kind of hoped that people would think of her as a hero after all she had sacrificed that night. Though, she really was not expecting to survive either. She wanted to matter. Simple as that. But now she would never matter. Never. Was that selfish of her? Jessa really did not think so. She never once in her entire life felt as though she really mattered. Her parents abandoned her. Every foster home that she had gone to, the kids there made sure to let her know that she would never matter. Including those kids from the group home when her case worker could not seem to place her anywhere.

All of her life, as she grew up in foster homes and group homes, Jessa believed she was not worth anything. She believed that she would never be loved. She had been so sure of that. But then she was nine and she was sent here. She figured that it would be the same, like every other place she had been at. Except they never sent her back. And when she was told that they were going to adopt her, she was ten years old. She never thought she would ever hear someone say those words to her. She was speechless. Jessa still remembered the first thing she spoke when Ben and Marco told her that. "Are you sure?" her voice was childlike, scared. "You don't have to. I don't need your pity. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for the way I am."

Swallowing, Jessa looked at the flyer as her big brother set it on the bed beside him. "You weren't suppose to know, to find out." she whispered. "You can't fix this, Matt. I can't even fix it. And you can't protect me." she spoke, softly, as she walked over and sat down next to her brother. She rested her head on his shoulder. If she could, she would be crying right now.

[Deleted]

His arm went instinctively around her shoulder. He wasn't supposed to find out? How was that supposed to work? They went to the same school. He was bound to find out. All of them were. If it hadn't been him that found out first, it would have been Megan or Hannah. "Sorry. Jess. But when you go to the same school with a million family members, someone is bound to find out your problems. It just happened to be me this time."

He couldn't protect her? Since when? Matt had been doing a pretty good job of protecting all of them. Just look at Jack. Because of Matt, they were all still alive. Scoffing, he shook his head. But part of him itched at him. He didn't have any Heroin, but he did have some coke. And he did not mind sharing with her. After all, he was in too much pain to get it himself. He needed her. "You underestimate me. There's a lot of things I can do. I can even help you feel...that is, if you can keep a secret."