Going for the Kill :: Hannah Del Rossi

[Jason Samuel Del Rossi]

How could Jason do this? Choose between his sister and his son. He could not just let anything happen to his kid. He was only four years old. But what would happen if he were to murder his own sister? Could he even do that? Was it possible for him to even take another life? Jason was completely freaked out by the letter that the Sniper wrote to him. Partner? Well, he was going to at least try and waste his sister. It was not like she cared about living anymore. Or so it sometimes appeared. He did not mean that to sound completely cruel. Jason loved his sister. But he was a father now. And he needed to protect his own kid.

Jason had grabbed the handgun from his dresser. The one that he kept locked with a padlock to ensure that his son did not come across it. It was there for his own protection. After all, they did not exactly live in a great neighborhood. And he stuck it in the waist of his jeans, before putting on his jacket. He drove his son to the babysitter’s and then drove to his parent’s house and knocked on the door.

It had been Jessa who had answered though. And unfortunately, Hannah was not there. But Jessa knew where she was. The lake. With how late it already was, at least the lake would be relatively empty. Getting back into his car, Jason quickly drove to the lake. He just wanted to get this over with. He wanted to make sure that his kid was safe. Especially if anything were to happen to him. He got out and walked to the lake, spotting his sister off in the distance. Looking around, he was glad to see that him and Hannah were the only two people even there. At least he would not have to drag her anywhere to get the job done.

Swallowing, Jason quietly pulled the gun from his jeans and cocked it, before aiming it in his sister’s direction. But he did not pull the trigger. He tried to. He tried so hard to pull the trigger. But Jason was not a killer. And he could not possibly murder his own sister, his family. He knew that he would not be able to bear that. And if his family found out, then Jason would wind up with no one in his life. Was this even worth all the trouble it would cause? Jason thought about just dropping his gun and leaving before Hannah even noticed him. But he could not bring himself to move or to lower his gun. He just stood there, his hand trembling.

[Deleted]

Nobody understood. How she felt, what she wanted. None of it. And there was a very good reason why nobody understood--she never let anyone in. Hannah wasn't afraid of what they would think or say. But after what happened with Jack, and after finding out that she wasn't graduating, Hannah reverted back to her old self--pushing people away, not telling anyone anything. Except, that wasn't quite what she was doing. And there was one girl she was closer to than anyone else. Katarina Matthews.

She had met the girl on one of her last few days that she was in school. It was surprising, really, that she found herself attached so quickly. But for some reason, this girl was different. She had a reason to like being alive again. She suddenly had a purpose other than searching for her son's body. And while she hadn't forgotten about Marco--because she definitely had not forgotten, she was doing other things with her time. Spending it either with Katarina or just thinking about her. Some people may call it obsessive, and maybe it was. But it was really nice.

Ok, so Hannah had a crush. Was that normal? Here, she had been pregnant by a guy and she was crushing on a girl. Then again, this wouldn't be the first time. Over the summer, she had been crushing on Marissa pretty hard. It got to the point where she had gone to her dad for help dealing with her feelings. And yeah, she knew that it was normal to have feelings for someone of the same sex. But that wasn't what she was worried about. What she was worried about was the possibility that she only had these feelings because of what she had gone through with Jack. She didn't know if that could happen, but she was too scared to ask Chance and have it confirmed that her feelings were fake.

Hannah loved being here, at the lake. She would wait until after the sun went down, or sometimes even come watch it go down. She didn't come to swim--she never did learn how. And after her drowning experience where Nesse helped her, it was a wonder that she came back. But for some reason, Hannah found an inner peace here. When she sat by the bank, she felt like life was good. Everything was going to be ok. She had no idea that her newly found confidence was about to be completely shattered all over again.

She had been sitting by the bank, gazing at the stars. In her lap was a book on astronomy. It was a hobby she had picked up since leaving school, learning about the stars. She was even thinking about making a telescope. It was the cocking of the gun that led her to freeze. Her breathing quickened, and her gulp was most likely audible. At first, she didn't want to move. But she would rather face the person. For some reason, she felt like she had better chances if she was facing her attacker.

Her hands went up. "I don't have any money," she said shakily as she slowly stood up and turned around. It was dark, and she couldn't tell who it was. "Please. I won't even call the cops." That was true. She was starting to think that the police wouldn't even believe her. But then, she noticed something else. The hand holding the gun--it was shaking. Squinting, she took a step closer. Andwhen she realized who it was, that was when she let out a yelp. Jason. "What did I do?" she whimpered. How had she deserved this? He was her big brother. She knew that she had to have done something for him to have a gun on her. But what?

[Jason Samuel Del Rossi]

He could not do this. He could not take his sister’s life. Or anyone’s life for that matter. He shut his eyes as he noticed that Hannah recognized him. “I can’t do this…” he whispered, more to himself. It was true. This was just one thing that he could not do. Could not kill his baby sister. Slowly opening his eyes, the gun fell from his hand and landed on the ground, right next to his feet. He shook his head and looked back down at the gun. Pick it back up. Jason shook his head, ignoring the voice telling him to pick it up. No. I won't. I can't. He looked down at the hand that was previously holding the gun. He could not get it to stop shaking. As hard as he tried to.

Finally, Jason looked back up at his sister. “Hannah… you have to run. You got that? I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t.” He spoke in an unsteady tone. Jason took a step back. “Even if it means protecting my son, I won’t do this. I won’t.” Jason walked up to his sister, grabbing her arms tightly. “Leave. Stay away from me. It’s for your own good. And please, don’t tell dad about this.” He said, shaking her slightly. Shaking his head, he let go and walked back over, picking up the gun and placing it back into the waist of his jeans.

[Deleted]

She wasn’t sure what this was all about. Could it have been the fifty bucks she took from his wallet a couple of days ago? Hannah could explain that. She was trying to feel again. Trying to be her old self again. But most of all, she just wanted the walking on eggshells to stop. Honestly, she had hoped to get caught. She wanted to be in trouble, and she didn’t care if it was with Jason himself of if he told their parents. But she never expected this. As the gun fell to the sand, she eyed it for a moment before picking it up. She didn’t know why, but she uncocked it and slipped it in her jacket pocket. She listened to him go on about his kid, and she heard the words run and don’t tell dad. Hannah had no intention of running OR telling their dad. The thing was, she had a feeling that her brother needed her attention just as much as she needed his. When she did move, it was towards her brother, not away from him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, as she began to cry. “I’m sorry. So sorry. This is all my fault. And don’t tell me it’s not, because it is.”

She knew who it was. If Jason had to protect his son, there was only one person he could possibly be protecting him from. And if she had spoken up before now, Jason and Darren would have never gotten involved. But now it was too late. Because now if she gave him up, he would find a way to make sure Jason regretted it before he was arrested. She wasn’t sure how, but it was like he knew everything she did the second she did it. She broke the hug, looking up at him. “I think I know who it is. And I could have told, before it got too late. And now it is too late. I don’t know how to explain this, but what he wants from me is to keep my mouth shut. He warned me that this would happen if I went to the police and-“ She swallowed, taking a deep breath. “I started to go to them yesterday. I was going to give them his name. But once I got there, there was so many people around. I freaked out and instead of telling them who he is, I asked about my son. I don’t want to hear any sympathy. I don’t deserve it. I deliberately ignored a warning and put you in danger. If anything, I deserve to be punished. For that, and for the money I took.” To her surprise, as much as she wanted the negative attention, it was hard for Hannah to come out with that. She had butterflies in her stomach, and by the time she was finished, she had that feeling that she was in trouble. A feeling she had definitely missed. After all, it was better than being depressed and numb.

[Jason Samuel Del Rossi]

Jason had never been one to cry around anyone. Not even around his own family. It was a sign of weakness and that was just not who Jason was. And now that he too was a father, he had to put his son first. Do whatever it took to protecting Darren. No matter what the consequences were. But this time, Jason allowed himself to cry. What would people say, think? Would he be judged for his tears? He did even care anymore. It's not like anyone really wanted him anyway. And to be perfectly honest, he could not exactly blame them. They probably saw the same punk he was in high school. Didn't they notice the changes? Didn't his parents see that he still needed them?

Why had he even come back here to begin with? Simple. He thought that his family wanted him. He had dealt with a bad marriage, an even worse divorce. He screwed everything up. He was a screw up in high school. He was a screw up now. Nothing would ever change. Well, he was going to have to think of his four year old son now before everyone and everything else. He would have to leave. His family, everything. Again.

With a sigh, Jason stepped away from his sister and looked away. "It doesn't matter anymore, Hannah. It just doesn't. You didn't mean to hurt me, to hurt anyone. Besides, no one else seems to care." He shook his heads. "Maybe-maybe I should get Darren out of here before anything bad happens to him."

[Deleted]

I DON'T THINK ANYBODY CARES. Hannah froze when he said that. Jason always did know how to be blunt. Hannah couldn't breathe at first. But he was right. Nobody cared. And why should they? She had been horrible to everyone. Always had been. She was a thief and a bitch. Who cared if the sniper tried to kill her? She didn't deserve to be cared about. Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head. He was leaving? This was her fault. All of it. And Hannah wanted so badly to accept that and leave instead. But instead, she grabbed his arm, sobbing as she finally managed to speak. ''I'm sorry! Please don't go! I know I don't deserve anything but I need you! I'm scared he's going to finish me off and I just want my big brother! And I KNOW I still have Chance but it's not the same! Please, Jason! You're right. Nobody cares. I lost my son and I can’t even bury him and NOBODY gives a damn. And if you go then I will have NOBODY who even wants me. Please?'' She couldn't stop crying. And all the while, she just knew that he was going to walk away. Like he had the first time.

The thing was, for the year that Hannah was in the home, she had been so sure that it wouldn't last long. She had made sure to tell ALL the others that she would be out of there soon. It was Jason who first made her feel like she was part of the family. It wasn't done by any grand gesture or motivational speech. In fact, he had treated her like shit. But it was the same treatment he had given the others. And it helped her see that she wasn't going anywhere. And then he was gone. And Hannah went through a phase where she would run away and try to go to Jason. She never did find him, even after trying thirteen times. And now? He was going to leave because she couldn't even speak up and put the guy who tried to kill her behind bars. Looking up at him with pleading eyes, she whimpered before whispering ''I need to matter.''

[Jason Samuel Del Rossi]

Jason did not even know what to say. For once in his life he was just completely speechless, at a loss for words. His mind was racing and he felt like he could not breathe. "Come with me." he blurted out before he could even think. All he knew was that he could not just leave her here...with him! None of them were safe here anymore. It was time to move on, get away, be safe. For once. "Please..." his tone was pleading, begging, as he grabbed onto her hand tightly, refusing to let his sister go. he just could not let her go. he was afraid for her. He wanted her to be safe. he needed to protect her.

" Hannah, please... please just come with me." he began to pull her away from the lake. tears fell down Jason's face. if there was one thing that Hannah had never seen, it was Jason having a nervous breakdown. and that was exactly what was happening.

[Deleted]

Hannah didn't understand. Where were they going? Were they runnning away? It wasn't the answer. As much of an after school special as it sounded, it was true. It took her four years to figure it out. When she was first brought here, Hannah didn't go three days without running away. And big brother Jason had told her to quit already that it wasn't going to change anything. He told her that she would never be sent back so she might as well not even bother. Back then, when she shared a room with her teenage foster brother, Hannah thought he knew nothing. But he turned out to be right. And Hannah had started to rely on Jason. And when he left, Hannah saw first hand the consequences for running.

But then he came back, after three long years. Hannah had felt so confident in her family. She knew deep down that her siblings that lived there loved her. That her parents would do anything for her. Sure, she still took some enjoyment of watching her naive brother get into some trouble. But she trusted in them. And then when Jason came back, it was like her entire world had been turned upside down. She wanted to trust him. She wanted to rely on him like she once had. But her guard was up. Until that fateful night, that is.

He had saved her life. How could she not trust him after that? Hannah did. So maybe she wasn't giving Jason enough credit. Maybe he wasn't running away. Maybe he had a plan. As he pulled on her arm, Hannah followed him. Ready and eager to do whatever he wanted. But as she followed him, her mind began thinking methodically. And one thing that stuck out in her mind was her twin. She stopped abruptly, forgetting that Jason had yet to find out about it. "Wait. Alice. What about Alice? I can't leave her."