Megan Julia Del Rossi
Home-Schooled
Grade 10
Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you cant see the pain someone feels.
Posts: 2,454
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Post by Megan Julia Del Rossi on Feb 23, 2013 23:22:22 GMT -8
How could Shayne have said those things to her? Maybe he was right. Maybe everyone was right about her. Worthless trash. That kept echoing in Megan's head all day. She was worthless. Worthless. She did not deserve to be happy. She was worthless, after all. She was not cared for. She knew how to love. She did know that. Because the way that she was feeling about JJ … it was a way that she had never felt before. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to have a real relationship. But for some reason, she could not feel love. Maybe it was because of all that she had been through her entire life. But Megan felt screwed up, fucked up. And she truly believed Shayne. He was right about her. And he was wrong to have ever loved her. Maybe she just was not worth love. Maybe she was just not worth anything. It should have been her. Megan was positive that Shayne wished that it was her who should have been hanged. After all, he was hanged because he wasn't at the dance. Which WAS her fault. And Megan knew exactly what she had to do. She did not hate Shayne for what he had said to her. Because she knew that he was right. Right to say all of that. Every right. Wasn't that exactly what she was? Degrassi's easy lay? Did everybody think that about her?
This was for Shayne. Maybe her being alive was just too painful. If she had died, then none of what has happened to Shayne would have never happened. Everything was entirely her fault. Why did JJ love her? She just could not understand that. Megan was so sure that she, herself, was incapable of ever being loved.
She just sat in her bedroom, door locked, looking down at a very old photo of her and Shayne. Back when she had been living with him. Back before she had been adopted. Tears filled her eyes. “You're right.” she whispered. “Absolutely right. And for that, I am so sorry.” She placed the picture down on her bed as she got to her feet. She then picked up the rope that had been sitting on her desk chair. She knew what she had to do. It seemed like she was just causing everyone pain by being alive. They would all be better off if she were dead. Right? She was so sure. Why had Ben and Marco even adopted her? She was not worth saving. Worth the trouble. She was broken, damaged. Didn't they see that? Couldn't they? “I won't hurt anyone anymore. Not ever.” Unlocking the door, she then left her bedroom. She went up into the attic. She thought it was the best place to do this. And she was sure that no one was at home to stop her either. She grabbed a chair and stood on it. She tied one end of the rope to the rafter and then tied a noose around her neck. “Goodbye.” she whispered. And the girl counted to three slowly in her head before stepping off of the chair.
W O R D S * 530 ;; T H O U G H T S * stuffyouwannasay ;; M U S I C * yourmuse ;; T A G G E D * Hannah Del Rossi ;; W E A R I N G * clothes ;; C R E D I T S * bruno mars' lazy song ;;
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2013 16:01:03 GMT -8
So close. She had come so close to overcoming her fear and giving Jack's name. Hannah returned from the precinct, still unsure of how she was supposed to be feeling right now. She had received the news just an hour ago. Marco didn't die? It made no sense. Hannah watched him get put in a paper bag. And carried out. How was it possible that the hospital told Detective Garrett that the infant was brought in? And if that baby was her son, then where the hell was he? Hannah had so many questions. And her plan was to go to her brother and ask for advice. After all, he had a kid. Right now, though, all she wanted was to go home and feed the girl in the closet. As she unlocked the front door, she could have sworn she heard a noise coming from upstairs. Instantly, she set her backpack down and snuck to the kitchen. She grabbed a knife and, holding it defensively, made her way up the stairs. As she reached the top, she found herself at the bottom of the attic door ladder. Her hands shaking, she climbed up. She was in no way prepared for what she saw.
There was no time to think. Hannah ran to her sister, cutting the rope and watching her body drop. She didn't even check for a pulse or call 9-1-1. Instead, she started CPR. Counting out loud in between breaths, Hannah watched for Megan to open her eyes or spit up water or something. She refused to let her be dead. And once she did come to, Hannah decided that she was going to slap her for doing this. She was pregnant. Hannah would give anything to hold her baby again and here Megan was throwing away the life of hers. Hannah knew her sister could be self-centered, but this was an all-time low.
TAGGED;; Megan OUFIT;; CAN BE FOUND HERE WORDS;; THERE ARE 317 WORDS LYRICS;; LAST FRIDAY NIGHT - KATY PERRY WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?;; WHAT ARE YOU HEARING?
THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY LUPITA OF CAUTION 2.0. THE TEXT BANNERS WERE ALSO MADE BY HER. THE LYRICS, HOWEVER, GO TO SELENA GOMEZ AND THE SCENE. A LINK TO WHERE YOU ARE USING THIS IS GREATLY APPRECIATED AND PLEASE KEEP THE CREDITS IN TACT. IF NOT SHE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND UNLEASH THE FURY OF A THREE YEAR OLD ON YOU
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Megan Julia Del Rossi
Home-Schooled
Grade 10
Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you cant see the pain someone feels.
Posts: 2,454
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Post by Megan Julia Del Rossi on Feb 24, 2013 16:15:34 GMT -8
Nobody knew what Megan was really going through, really feeling. Why was that? Because she refused to talk about it. She thought people would see her as weak. She could not be seen as weak. She should not be weak. After all that she had been through. No one realized how lost this child was. How much she was suffering on the inside. She wanted this baby. More than anything. She really did. She wanted to have someone that would love her no matter what she did. But at the same time, she could not go through with it. Out of fear. Megan was so terrified that she would turn out exactly like her father. She did not want to put her child through the same things that she had gone through all those years. She needed to do this. It was for the best. It would prevent so much pain and heartache in the future.
It took almost two minutes of Hannah doing CPR before Megan began coughing. She put a shaky hand to her throat, her eyes still shut. “No...” she whimpered, her voice so weak. “So-sorry. P-please...” But she stopped speaking. She could not speak. Her throat, her voice, it hurt to speak. Suddenly, without warning, Megan grabbed onto her sister's arm, eyes still closed. She was clammy and shaking pretty bad. It hurt so much. She never realized how much pain you could feel when trying to hang yourself. Her grip on her sister tightened, but it did not feel very tight considering how weak she felt. “Shayne...” she muttered out, almost incoherently. “Happy-happy now?”
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2013 21:12:30 GMT -8
Her brown eyes watched her. She was mumbling. She wasn't actually opening her eyes. Why wasn't she opening her eyes? The seventeen year old was panicking. There had to be a way to get her to wake up. She had to wake up. She was her baby sister. Sure, Hannah didn't act like she cared most of time. But she did care. Hannah loved her sister. And there was no way in hell she was letting her die. But she was really at a loss as to what to do. With a whimper, she shook her. ''Megan? Come on, Megan. Dude, if you die, I will kill you!'' This wasn't working. Hannah felt useless.
That was when she heard it. Shayne. Hannah's eyes narrowed. That dumbass nigger. He thought being hung was bad? He hadn't seen anything yet. He was definitely going to pay. Hannah recognized this feeling. This rage. It had been a few years since it was quite this strong. She stared down at her, feeling it continue to rise. Suddenly, she slapped her sister. ''Dude! Wake up already!''
TAGGED;; Megan OUFIT;; CAN BE FOUND HERE WORDS;; THERE ARE 181 WORDS LYRICS;; LAST FRIDAY NIGHT - KATY PERRY WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?;; WHAT ARE YOU HEARING?
THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY LUPITA OF CAUTION 2.0. THE TEXT BANNERS WERE ALSO MADE BY HER. THE LYRICS, HOWEVER, GO TO SELENA GOMEZ AND THE SCENE. A LINK TO WHERE YOU ARE USING THIS IS GREATLY APPRECIATED AND PLEASE KEEP THE CREDITS IN TACT. IF NOT SHE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND UNLEASH THE FURY OF A THREE YEAR OLD ON YOU
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Megan Julia Del Rossi
Home-Schooled
Grade 10
Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you cant see the pain someone feels.
Posts: 2,454
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Post by Megan Julia Del Rossi on Feb 24, 2013 22:07:20 GMT -8
The second that Hannah's hand connected with her cheek, Megan let out a scream and her eyes opened wide. Where was she? Everything seemed so blurry at first. It took a moment for her to focus on her surroundings. She placed her hand on her cheek and focused in on her older sister. She shook her head, her entire body trembling. She was alive? No. No, no, no. She couldn't be. She did not deserve to live. She placed a hand to her neck, and winced in pain. And she tried to sit up, only to let out a whimper. “Go away.” she mumbled. She would never admit it, but she really needed her big sister right now. She desperately needed to know that everything would be okay. She trusted Hannah. She never flat out admitted it to anyone, but she really did. But how could she ever understand how Megan was feeling right now?
Finally, taking in a deep breathe, Megan pushed herself to sit up. “Don't...” She shook her head, whimpering. She grabbed her sister's wrist tightly. Though it really was not all that tight at all. She was still pretty weak. “Don't do that. Don't hit me.” She muttered. She tried to say it louder, but her voice wouldn't let her. It came out in a weak whisper instead. “Just... Leave... You-you don't-don't need-need me-” she choked out, gasping for air in between words.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2013 17:06:26 GMT -8
Hannah rolled her eyes. "Sure. Go away. I find you half dead in the attic and then you tell me to go away. Fine. Bye." she said, her voice laced with sarcasm. Did Megan really think that she was that stupid? Hannah might have been a crappy sister, but there was no way she was going to just leave her. She wasn't going to feed into any depressing shit, either. So when she was told not to hit her, she grabbed her arms and forced her to stand up. "If you don't want me to hit you, then get up!" And then she started it. Hannah stared blankly at her. "You're right. I don't need you." And then the idea hit her. "But I know what we both need."
Her hand firmly on her wrist. "Come on. I just so happen to know where there's a college party. And us hot chicks are going to be there. We don't even have to be ourselves." That sounded good, actually. She was going to go by the name Allison. "We can be a...lesbian couple or something." She giggled at the thought. Though, she knew Megan probably would never go for that. And to be honest, she was inwardly jealous. Matt had a shot with Megan. Hannah never did. Even the one-night stand that Megan had with Augusta. But she knew she would never go for it with her. Hannah wasn't hot. She knew she was pretty...but she wasn't hot.
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Megan Julia Del Rossi
Home-Schooled
Grade 10
Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you cant see the pain someone feels.
Posts: 2,454
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Post by Megan Julia Del Rossi on Mar 18, 2013 16:05:56 GMT -8
What was Megan supposed to say? What was she supposed to do? She was so afraid. She had not really discussed her fears with anyone. The thing she was most scared of. This baby was Jonathon’s kid and she was her father’s kid. How could Megan possibly get anyone to understand her fears? How could she just forget about her past? Was that even possible? Forgetting about everything bad that has happened to her? Wouldn’t this baby be a daily reminder of exactly what she had to endure? She hated this baby in a way. But she loved it at the same time. That sounded so fucked up.
“No!” she yelled to her sister, shaking her head. Her sister could never possibly understand how she was feeling right now. She tried to yank her wrist out of Hannah’s grasp. “Leave. Me. Alone.” She hissed, her eyes narrowing in on her sister. She did not mean to sound mean towards her big sister. She trusted her, looked up to her. But Megan was hurting. And no one even noticed the teen’s pain. “I do not want to go anywhere. Much less a stupid college party. I don’t. Don’t you get it? Do you even understand why I did this? Of course you don’t.” Megan shook her head, sadly, pulling her wrist from Hannah’s grasp finally. “Degrassi's easy lay with the man whore of the year.” She repeated the same exact words that Shayne at spoken to her earlier that day. “Only she’s not a piece of worthless trash like you are.” Tears finally filled Megan’s eyes. “Shayne is right about me. I do fuck with people’s emotions. But he has no idea what I have gone through.” She walked past Hannah and sat down on the floor, her back to Hannah and began sobbing. “I can’t help it. I really care for JJ. I am glad to be his girlfriend. I have been through so much already. Don’t I deserve to be happy? Huh?” She did not even pay attention to the fact that Hannah still had not known that she was dating JJ.
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