wide awake (Reese!)

[Deleted]

Of course she could fucking take care of herself for a week and a half. Of course she could. It annoyed her that her mother didn’t realize that going on her fucking honeymoon meant leaving her alone. She shouldn’t have been a fucking side thought. But she was, and Dawn had to accept it. When asked, as her mother was setting the suitcase in the living room, getting ready to leave, Dawn had rolled her eyes, said “mother, chill.” And that was the end of the conversation. The wedding had been rushed; she was only dating Lindy for two months when they decided to get married, and they married three days later. Her mom tried to paint a fucking rose-colored picture of the two being hopelessly in love, but she wasn’t fucking retarded. She saw the fucking pregnancy test in the trash. And it didn’t take a rocket scientist to read it. Why was she even still here? Dawn didn’t understand why she couldn’t move in with her dad. True, she didn’t know anything about her father, except that he was an irresponsible prick who refused to marry her after she got pregnant with her. But, Dawn seriously doubt that was what had happened. And who was to blame for her not knowing him? Her fucking bitch of a mother.

Of course, despite not really knowing him, Dawn imagined what he must have been like. Maybe he wasn’t the type of guy who could be forced to settle down with a wife and kid. Dawn knew that her dad worked with computers. Maybe it was more than that. Maybe he worked for the Canadian Mounted Police, or for Parliament. Who knew? Maybe her dad was knee-deep in top-secret government missions. She knew it was childish, to dream about her dad being a spy or whatever. And Dawn knew full well that was most likely not the case. But hey, a girl could fucking dream, right? But those times when Dawn was lonely without her father, and wishing she could see him, it helped cheer her up some.

This was night five that her mom was gone, and so far, Dawn was having fun. She had thrown a party the night before, and some kids didn’t even leave until that morning. Of course, they were probably going to be murdered when they got home. But, Dawn didn’t give a fuck. She was just having fun. She was parent-less for six more days, and she intended to make the most of it. Throwing a party sounded better than watching the basketball get beaten by Degrassi. Dawn hated sports, anyways. Dawn didn’t fall asleep until almost 9 am herself, and by the time she woke up, it was almost midnight. It was a quiet night, which was rare for Dawn when it came to Saturday nights, but the night before had been plenty loud to make up for it. She had ordered pizza and settled down to watch a marathon of Batman movies.

It wasn’t even half over, though, when the storm warnings started. Dawn had ignored them, turning off the tv with some irritation and grabbing a book to read. When the power went out at 1:30, though, it startled her. This wasn’t fucking pleasant. Dawn was terrified of storms. Nervously, she pulled out her cell phone. She would just call up her boyfriend. As she tried, though, she discovered to her dismay that the cell phone had no reception. She laid in the dark, listening to the howl of the wind. She needed to do something. She wasn’t going to fucking sit here in the fucking dark fucking home alone. Why did her mother have to leave her alone, anyway? She should have fucking sent her to stay with her father. Her father…All at once, Dawn jumped, grabbed a hoodie and slipped her sneakers on. She had looked up his address a few weeks ago, so she could write him letters. Now, she was glad that she did.

Twenty minutes later, she stood in the dark, wind and rain beating against her, making it hard to keep her balance. She had the paper with his address, but by now it was soaked and falling apart. She looked up at the house. She could be wrong. This might not be his place. And she was about to ring the doorbell, after two in the morning. But, something told her that this was it. What would he do? What would he say? She had no idea. He could turn her away. He could tell her to go home. But, it was a risk that the scared teenager was willing to take. Because without her boyfriend, Nolan, Gabe, Kaden, and the others, she wasn’t so brave. Swallowing, she ran through the stream of water that was quickly building up on the sidewalk and came to his door. Trembling, she rang the bell and waited. She didn’t know if she was shaking more from the cold, or fear of what he would say. But, she was about to find out.

[Reese Forrester]

Reese considered himself lucky to have a kid that slept through noise. He guessed that it was because she was so used to it that it wasn't going to bother her, but it didn't stop him from counting it a benefit that he could have music blasting in the living room while she slept through the night down the hall. The house was big enough that she had enough distance, but he was sure a light sleeper would be jumping down his throat about now. He'd been busy working, computer parts spread haphazardly all over the living room. Sure, he had his own work space and it was true that nothing he worked on right now had anything to do with his job--but it was a hobby and something he spent a lot of time and effort on. When it came to computers and technology, Reese had always had it easy. He was sharp and it seemed to be second nature for him to take things apart and put them back together better than ever. And well, he'd been doing just that when the power first went out. Sure, he had his share of warnings, but he hadn't been paying them a lot of attention. He was focused and there was little that could have pulled him out of that. Well, except a suddenly dark house and complete silence aside from Jeeves barking. "Well, thanks, I couldn't tell." He murmured and withdrew his phone from his pocket, to use it as a light source as he stood up.

"Dad?" Reese paused, unable not to be amused with her waking with the loss of power and not all of the racket he had been making before.

"Go back to sleep!" He called back, already on his way out of the living room and towards the back of the house, with every intention of firing up the generator. He wasn't going to let the storm get him down.

"Is the power out?"

No, really? Reese bit back a sarcastic remark to that, assured that it wouldn't do any good.

"Goodnight!" He called back, instead, and he knew she'd figure out that yes, it was, and that he wasn't going to talk to her except to tell her to sleep. And by the sound of the silence that resumed, except for the patter of a dog following behind him, he was sure that it worked. It didn't take long to have the generator fired up and for the power to restore itself. Honestly, he rarely had a reason for it, but it was good this time around. At least for a while. So, with that taken care of, he was able to go back inside to clean up the mess and to gather up any other light sources, just in case the generator wasn't going to be a reliable source for however long this lasted. If the storm became worse, he'd shut it down and he would need something to keep it lit up. He was in the middle of getting everything back to its original state when he heard the bell, however. His brow furrowed and he glanced to his watch, then back towards the front door. Who the hell was going to wind up here that late? Sighing, he made his way to the door, checking before he opened it. Dawn. It really was the last person he expected to see on his doorstep--not that he wouldn't have wanted to. Reese knew for a fact he wasn't all that mature and he wasn't the settle down and raise a family type either, but there was also no logical reason for him to be restricted from his kid either. But, that had been going on sixteen years now. Not hesitating to open the door, he held it open. "Your mom is going to throw a goddamned fit." He noted, blunt because it was as true as he knew it to be. "Get in here before you drown." He added, opening the door wider for her to come in.

[Deleted]

She had been staring down at her shoes when the door opened. She bit her lip when he mentioned her mom, and opened her mouth to protest, when he invited her in. She honestly didn't expect him to, especially after the comment that her mother wouldn't be happy. Pulling her sweater tight around herself, she didn't say anything until she had stepped inside, looking around. She had never been here before. She looked around, taking it all in for just a few seconds, because she was sure that he wanted an explanation. Showing up in the middle of the night, in the middle of a storm was probably not what he had expected her to do. She looked up at him, taking a deep breathe. "Th-thank you." Those words rarely came out of her mouth, but she really meant them this time. All she ever wanted was to be with her daddy. Her mother always had one excuse or the other. And to know that he wasn't turning her away, it made her feel good. Even if it could have been because of the storm.

"Mom's not here. Sh-she's in fucking Switzerland. On her honeymoon" she rolled her eyes, stating the last word with disgust. It wasn't like she cared what she thought, anyways. Dawn had no respect for her mom at the moment. She would have come even if her mom was in the house with her. "I-there's no power at the house. And it's storming." Well, yeah, she was sure that he could tell that it was storming. But, she said it anyways, giving him her reasons for being here. It was probably fucking ridiculous, a girl her age, a girl like her, being afraid of a storm. "And...I dunno. I guess I thought--" she stopped short. She didn't know if she should even tell him what she thought would happen. Because, what if he had only pulled her inside so he could call a cab? She had no idea if he would do that. Dawn felt like she was in the house of a total stranger. But, it should never have been like that. And she would like to think that he didn't want it to be like that, either. That he cared about her and wanted to see her.

[Reese Forrester]

Twice in his life, Reese had been pulled into relationships that he had been happier without. He had never been the settle down and commit kind of guy, but he didn't pretend either. The women that he spent his time with, knew upfront what he was in it for. It wasn't that he couldn't make a friendship out of what was essentially just sex, but he wasn't in it for the long haul. He never had been. And for the most part, it was understood. He didn't date anyone all that officially and when it came down to it, he wasn't going to pull out a ring at the end of the day. Sixteen years ago he had been no different than he was now--except, well, completely naive. He was on his way to success back then and of course people noticed it. But the people he surrounded himself with had the same potential he did. When the woman he'd been sleeping with at the time announced she was pregnant, naturally, it scared the hell out of him. He was young and ill equipped to handle that kind of news. But, he accepted it, said he'd do whatever he could, even though his heart was going to burst through his chest and take off out of the building. Then came the idea of marriage, that he had thrown out the door in an instant. He wasn't in love or ready to settle. The kid, they couldn't just get rid of, he got that. But, caring for a kid and being a parent didn't mean that he had to wed the mother. He stood by that and because he did, it lost him every single right before she was even born. He was given another chance when she was born, but he refused again, and before he knew to fight it, he lost her. It wasn't that he would have known what to do with a kid, but it was his kid, and he should have had the shot at it.

"Her honeymoon?" He asked, not surprised that she would have been getting married--after all, she seemed like the type that wanted it, or at least when she was about to have a kid. "She finally roped some poor sap, huh?" Maybe not the most appropriate conversation to have with a teenager daughter, but what the hell? Obviously her opinion wasn't too high of what was going on. But at the same time, he could only imagine what had been said about him. He nodded, understanding the reasoning, although he couldn't help but wonder how it was she showed up at his door and not someone she knew better. Not that he complained, because to be frank, it was good to see her. This had never been a situation that he asked for, it was the one that he had to accept (and really, he did a bad job at that too). "Well, I don't know what your mom's being saying, but you're welcome here." He stepped back further into the house. "Do you want anything?"

[Deleted]

"After two fucking months," she answered when he mentioned her mom roping someone in. "Claims they're in love. She thinks I'm stupid. You don't get married three days after you get engaged, and have a fucking positive test in the trash, and it be a coincidence." No, she wasn't happy at all with any of it. Here she was, sixteen years old and she didn't know her father, and she was being expected to make friends and get close to another man. She didn't want it. Dawn knew already that there was no way in hell that she would be calling Lindy dad. He wasn't her father. That would be the man facing her. And yet, she didn't make a move to hug him. She didn't move at all, actually. Her feet seemed to be attached to the fucking floor. She had to admit, being told that she was welcomed made her feel better. "I didn't know if I'd wake you up or make you mad," she timidly answered. Why the hell was she being so timid and shy? That wasn't like her at all. The day she met Lindy, she hadn't been timid. She didn't understand it.

Just you. When he asked if she wanted anything, the teenager shook her head, a smile shyly appearing on her face. "I'm fine. I had pizza before the lights went out." The little girl inside of her wanted to run to him and wrap her arms around his waist, call him daddy and declare that she loved him and missed him every day. But she wasn't a little girl. She was sixteen; she would be an adult in two more years. No, she couldn't do that. Because as her mother taught her, adults didn't show that kind of emotion. She had to find something else to occupy herself. The girl looked around, about to comment on all the computer things, when she saw the animal.

"You have a dog" She had never been allowed to have a pet before. She wasn't allowed near animals. Her mother was OCD about her touching anything with fur or hair that wasn't human. Her best friend was afraid of dogs. Tilting her head curiously, she watched it for just a moment. When she looked back up at him she bit her lip. "Can I ask you something, dad?" god, that felt to say. Dad. She couldn't remember the last time she had been able to say it in this context. Usually it was said when talking to a friend about their father. She even talked about him. But this had a different feel to it. She was talking to him.

[Reese Forrester]

"Some people never change, do they?" Reese asked, rhetorically. It didn't sound like she had changed in the least bit. And he wasn't going to stand there and pretend that her mother had some kind of honor or that she was wrong. As far as he was concerned, the woman didn't have honor. The bitterness he felt towards her wasn't going to go away anytime soon. He didn't give a damn if she wasn't in his life anymore; that was never a problem for him. It was taking his kid and restricting him from seeing her, not to mention using her as a way to remind him that she won and he lost every time that he saw her. He didn't know what the game was supposed to be. And now, standing there, he couldn't help but wonder what he was supposed to do. He had some hesitance in getting too close, not sure how she would react to him. He might have known who she was and kept some tabs on her, because he wasn't going to let himself be completely unknowing about who his daughter was, but he didn't know her well. And he really wasn't sure how to interact right away and while he generally didn't think much about it, it did restrict him from just grabbing her and giving her a hug.

"Don't worry, I don't sleep early." He admitted and it was true enough. He was more wired to work at night and it's what he often spent his time doing. He was a night owl and always had been. Some of his best work was done after nightfall. "All right." He nodded. "If you change your mind, the kitchen's stocked." With her comment towards the dog, he glanced over at Jeeves and chuckled. "Yeah, that's Jeeves. He owns the place." He walked further in, towards one of the couches and gestured for her to sit down if she wanted to. This whole situation wasn't one that he was used to. There had to be a lot of questions about how he was supposed to behave, but he decided that dwelling didn't have to be his way of handling it. "Sure, anything." He replied with a shrug, and he caught how she called him dad. He didn't know if he would have expected that really. After all, he hadn't been there, but apparently she still considered him her father--which, to be honest was a relief. He didn't want to be painted as the guy that took off and didn't give a damn. Because, sure, he was reckless and immature sometimes, but he gave a fuck about his kids.

[Deleted]

Dawn had a million questions for him. Why did he just give her up? Why didn't he want her? At least, that was how he was portrayed by her mom. She didn't want to put a lot of stock into anything her mother said; after all, she said shit about her enemies, as well. And she knew full well that her mother considered him to be her enemy. Instead, Dawn had decided that she would write him. She was planning on writing one long letter, full of the questions she had been dying to ask since she was a little girl. Because really, she couldn't remember the last time she had seen him. Her mom used to say that anytime she wanted to see her dad, just to let her know. But when she did, her mom made excuses. Your father is busy with work was her favorite one to use. But, Dawn didn't care. She would have eagerly gone to work with him. She just wanted to see him!

And now, she was. As the teenager followed him to the couch and sat down, trying not to get it too wet, she stared in his eyes. She thought that she had his eyes. So now, rather than writing out a letter, she was face-to-face with him. And he had said anything. Swallowing, she looked down at her lap, playing with the zipper of her sweater. The thing was, with letters, she had time to think things through before she wrote. She didn't have that luxury here. "I'm not a fucking retard," she spoke slowly, trying to figure out how to word it. "I'm not the only kid in the entire fucking city who doesn't live with both parents. But...." she sighed and looked back up at him. "Everyone else that I know who doesn't gets weekend visits, dad. Like, every weekend or every other weekend--I don't know." she shook her head. "I can be a bitch, but I'm your daughter. So I guess my question is...what the hell? Do you really have to be so busy all the time that you can't fucking see me? Or do you just not want to? Cause I ask to see you. All the time. And that's what I get. Your dad is busy." So much for not putting stock in her mother's words. Dawn would be lying to say that she wasn't affected by what her mother said. After all, she was her mother. The girl had relied on her to call him and tell him that his daughter wanted to see him. She didn't know that her mother failed to make the call each and every single fucking time she asked.

[Reese Forrester]

Reese learned after the first time that it was a bad idea to put faith in the idea that someone wouldn't do anything crazy to get their way. He didn't fight, initially, because he didn't think that she would legitimately restrict him from seeing his kid. He didn't take her threats seriously, because really, he didn't see how someone wanted to raise a kid by themselves just because the guy that knocked her up didn't want to get married. He didn't even have a clue why she wanted to get married. He wouldn't change. And if it was a ploy to change him, then it had failed completely. He was the same person he had been before and he wouldn't have changed if he stayed with her. That was just simple fact. And when he realized how serious she was, he had fought. Mostly, it was all in private though. He argued back and forth with her, while she was the only one to really take the proper legal measures. Reese had never let it go, not really. He still made it clear that he wanted to see her, at least to her mother. And when a similar situation arose when Ansley was born, Reese was fast to get custody over her. That legal battle worked in his favor and that woman was out of Ansley's life completely. Though, he would reckon, at this point, that she didn't care.

They were questions that he probably should have expected, because he knew that her mom probably wasn't going to feed her the true story. He listened to her, not interrupting at first, just to let her get it out so he knew the extent of what she wanted to say. "You can blame your mother for that one." He replied, straight-forward. "She's throwing a sixteen year long bitch fit and I'm pretty sure busy is code for her making herself look like the good guy." He didn't know what to expect of her reaction to that, mostly because he thought that she probably would believe the woman she knew before she believed him. "I've tried to see you. Each time I try, I get hit with the same threats and reminders that I fucked those chances up already." He explained. "I haven't once had a call from your mom, telling me anything about seeing you. Whenever I've seen her, it's the same old story. I ask about you, she essentially tells me I made my bed." He wasn't going to sugarcoat it and he figured that she could take it.

[Deleted]

Dawn shook her head. This wasn't right. He was her fucking father! She had no right to do this. Dawn was sixteen years old, and she needed her dad. Not some fucking substitute. She seriously considered driving her mother's car into Degrassi territory, just to get it fucked up. She knew that Degrassi kids hated her, just like they hated Kaden, Nolan, and Gabriel. Of course, it was mostly her fault. Dawn wasn't only in the rivalry because of her boyfriend being friends with Kaden. She was knee-deep because she wanted to be. It didn't matter if she was alone, the second she saw a Degrassi kid, the girl took action. They knew her well, and they would have no qualms with fucking up the car. Of course, then she ran the risk of getting hurt herself. That, she didn't want at all.

"Bitch," she shook her head, leaning on her knees. "I don't give a fuck what she says. I'm old enough to decide for myself, aren't I? I want you in my life. I always have. Can't you fix it so she can't keep me from you? I'm sixteen years old. I need you." There was a bit of desperation and pleading in her voice as she looked up at him. She didn't want Lindy in her life. She didn't want any other man her mom decides to bring home from a bar and fuck. She wanted him. There were times when she would be sitting in class, and she was called to the office. She always hoped it would be him, there to surprise her and take off with her for the day. Of course, it was never the case. Instead, it was usually trouble. And yeah, Dawn got in some pretty big shit with her friends. But what kid didn't? She didn't think that should stop him from wanting her. And now that she knew that he had always wanted to be there, she wanted him to fucking do something. If shit at home had to fucking change, then she wanted things to change with her too. And one change she wanted was the amount of time she spent with him. She wanted more--so much more. She wanted to ask if she could just move in, but she didn't, for the same reason she hadn't hugged him. She didn't know him that well. She needed to get to know him before she did that.