Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2010 23:46:20 GMT -8
Augusta hadn't come home last night. Sure, she was grounded, but that didn't mean anything to her. Not anymore. Not when she didn't think that the woman who grounded her loved her. That was the way Darcy had responded to finding out that her daughter had Hepatitis--she grounded her, and yelled at her. She did everything she could to make sure Augusta knew how much of a disappointment she was to her. When the pictures showed up to the school, everyone was angry with Augusta. Nobody stopped to think that maybe, she didn't want her porn being shown to everyone. All they could think about was how she hurt the people involved.
It wasn't like she planned for these things to happen. Her goal in life was not to acquire a fatal STD or to become Degrassi's porn star. That wasn't the way that life was supposed to go. She was the captain of the spirit squad! She was supposed to be on top of the world. She was supposed to be the immortal girl who could do whatever she wanted with whoever she wanted. And she used to be, too. That all changed months ago.
Augusta remembered the day like it was yesterday. Her parents were gone on vacation for their anniversary. Augusta was left with Bailey's stupid family because somehow Augusta was related to her in a funky way. But Emmett--he wasn't related. And he was cute. Really cute, actually. Ali had been gone for a while and Augusta set her sights on that piece of man. They ended up getting caught sleeping in the boiler room. And that's when Dustin made his proposal.
He said he understood Augusta's sexual needs. He said he could do everything for her, including the sadistic acts that she had been craving. Augusta was so used to hiding the fact that she was a masochist that it seemed inviting. His logic made sense at the time! So she had slept with him. It was the best experience she ever had, because he was willing to hit her.
But a few months went by, and things started getting rocky for the couple. Augusta was still sleeping with teenagers, and when Dustin found out, he was furious. But then again, Augusta wasn't the only one cheating. As it turned out, both of them had numerous partners. And the thing was, both of them had unprotected sex. Of course, Augusta didn't think much of it until she started showing signs that something was wrong.
Of all the things it could be, it was Hepatitis. Augusta had twenty years of her life left. Of course she was scared. Who wouldn't be? She was a sixteen year old with a fatal disease, and she was grounded for it. Nobody even talked to her. She was banned from seeing Dustin and that was it. But life in her home was cold and stony. Augusta was only drawn to Dustin even more.
And then there were the pictures. Augusta didn't understand what happened. Sure, she took pictures of every sexual encounter she had. However, she kept the pictures on a private website and only let certain people see them. She must have given access to the wrong person. Because lo and behold, all of her pictures were shown on a projector at an awards ceremony.
All that incident did was seal the deal. Nobody cared. Augusta spent countless nights crying herself to sleep, and nobody cared. The blame was all on her. Her life was being ruined and it was her own fault. Augusta was so sick of being around people who didn't care. So last night, instead of staying home, Augusta snuck out as soon as Dustin texted her. She just wanted to be back in the arms of someone who cared about her. She wanted so badly for another family, that one thing led to another, and she asked Dustin if they could run off and get married. And when he agreed, it made Augusta the happiest girl ever.
It was ten in the morning. Augusta knew everyone would be gone; Max would be off doing his churchy stuff, the kids would all be at school, and she assumed that her parents would be at work. That gave her plenty of time to get in, get her things, and be on her way to Vegas before they even came home. Augusta slipped in the house and set a letter she had written down on a counter, with its contents facing whoever found it.
I thought long and hard how to say goodbye. I didn't know if I should call or text or email. But then I realized that it didn't matter either way. I understand that I messed up too badly to be forgiven. I understand that I do not really belong in this family anymore. I've known it for a while now. I see it in everyone's eyes when they look at me. I hear it in the tone of your guys' voices. But that's okay. I'm ready to deal with not being loved by this family anymore.
I decided to marry Dustin. I know you all hate him, but he loves me for who I am, no matter the mistakes I made. He makes me feel safe in his arms. I don't expect any of you to understand how I feel when I'm around you compared to around him. I don't expect you to care, either. Don't worry, my expectations are nothing.
I do want to say before I go that I still love all of you. You will always be my family in my heart. But I'm a big girl, and I know that I need to have a new family. Dustin and I will be that for each other. I'll write once a year, around my birthday--but you probably wouldn't like that. I am so sorry. I never meant to become a burden or a disappointment to anybody. Especially you, mom and dad. I wanted you to be proud of me. I lost my way, and in the process lost your love.
By the time you read this, I will be gone. Don't worry, I won't bother you with the name of where I'm going. You don't have to pretend to care. And I won't bother you for money or anything, either. Dustin and I, we can take care of each other for those things.
You will all stay in my thoughts. I love you. Goodbye,
Augusta
After leaving the note, Augusta ran to the room she shared with Tracy and pulled down a suitcase from her closet. She spent a good half hour filling her suitcase with everything she wanted to take with her to Vegas. She was leaving behind so much, but she didn't care. They could sell her stuff or whatever. It might even make up for what she cost them. Once finished, she zipped it up and picked it up, heading for the front door.
It wasn't like she planned for these things to happen. Her goal in life was not to acquire a fatal STD or to become Degrassi's porn star. That wasn't the way that life was supposed to go. She was the captain of the spirit squad! She was supposed to be on top of the world. She was supposed to be the immortal girl who could do whatever she wanted with whoever she wanted. And she used to be, too. That all changed months ago.
Augusta remembered the day like it was yesterday. Her parents were gone on vacation for their anniversary. Augusta was left with Bailey's stupid family because somehow Augusta was related to her in a funky way. But Emmett--he wasn't related. And he was cute. Really cute, actually. Ali had been gone for a while and Augusta set her sights on that piece of man. They ended up getting caught sleeping in the boiler room. And that's when Dustin made his proposal.
He said he understood Augusta's sexual needs. He said he could do everything for her, including the sadistic acts that she had been craving. Augusta was so used to hiding the fact that she was a masochist that it seemed inviting. His logic made sense at the time! So she had slept with him. It was the best experience she ever had, because he was willing to hit her.
But a few months went by, and things started getting rocky for the couple. Augusta was still sleeping with teenagers, and when Dustin found out, he was furious. But then again, Augusta wasn't the only one cheating. As it turned out, both of them had numerous partners. And the thing was, both of them had unprotected sex. Of course, Augusta didn't think much of it until she started showing signs that something was wrong.
Of all the things it could be, it was Hepatitis. Augusta had twenty years of her life left. Of course she was scared. Who wouldn't be? She was a sixteen year old with a fatal disease, and she was grounded for it. Nobody even talked to her. She was banned from seeing Dustin and that was it. But life in her home was cold and stony. Augusta was only drawn to Dustin even more.
And then there were the pictures. Augusta didn't understand what happened. Sure, she took pictures of every sexual encounter she had. However, she kept the pictures on a private website and only let certain people see them. She must have given access to the wrong person. Because lo and behold, all of her pictures were shown on a projector at an awards ceremony.
All that incident did was seal the deal. Nobody cared. Augusta spent countless nights crying herself to sleep, and nobody cared. The blame was all on her. Her life was being ruined and it was her own fault. Augusta was so sick of being around people who didn't care. So last night, instead of staying home, Augusta snuck out as soon as Dustin texted her. She just wanted to be back in the arms of someone who cared about her. She wanted so badly for another family, that one thing led to another, and she asked Dustin if they could run off and get married. And when he agreed, it made Augusta the happiest girl ever.
It was ten in the morning. Augusta knew everyone would be gone; Max would be off doing his churchy stuff, the kids would all be at school, and she assumed that her parents would be at work. That gave her plenty of time to get in, get her things, and be on her way to Vegas before they even came home. Augusta slipped in the house and set a letter she had written down on a counter, with its contents facing whoever found it.
I thought long and hard how to say goodbye. I didn't know if I should call or text or email. But then I realized that it didn't matter either way. I understand that I messed up too badly to be forgiven. I understand that I do not really belong in this family anymore. I've known it for a while now. I see it in everyone's eyes when they look at me. I hear it in the tone of your guys' voices. But that's okay. I'm ready to deal with not being loved by this family anymore.
I decided to marry Dustin. I know you all hate him, but he loves me for who I am, no matter the mistakes I made. He makes me feel safe in his arms. I don't expect any of you to understand how I feel when I'm around you compared to around him. I don't expect you to care, either. Don't worry, my expectations are nothing.
I do want to say before I go that I still love all of you. You will always be my family in my heart. But I'm a big girl, and I know that I need to have a new family. Dustin and I will be that for each other. I'll write once a year, around my birthday--but you probably wouldn't like that. I am so sorry. I never meant to become a burden or a disappointment to anybody. Especially you, mom and dad. I wanted you to be proud of me. I lost my way, and in the process lost your love.
By the time you read this, I will be gone. Don't worry, I won't bother you with the name of where I'm going. You don't have to pretend to care. And I won't bother you for money or anything, either. Dustin and I, we can take care of each other for those things.
You will all stay in my thoughts. I love you. Goodbye,
Augusta
After leaving the note, Augusta ran to the room she shared with Tracy and pulled down a suitcase from her closet. She spent a good half hour filling her suitcase with everything she wanted to take with her to Vegas. She was leaving behind so much, but she didn't care. They could sell her stuff or whatever. It might even make up for what she cost them. Once finished, she zipped it up and picked it up, heading for the front door.
