pure example (Cyn!)

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He had a good routine, safely alone and away from anyone who could hurt him, or that he could hurt. The teenager roamed from class to class, sending glares and growls at anybody who bothered to talk to him. He didn't even like participating in class discussions. All he wanted to do was get through the rest of the school year, so he could stop stressing over the lives of his siblings.

Lunchtime came around, and once more, Matt took a tray of food that he didn't really plan to eat and went to a table in the far corner to sit down. Usually, he sat alone, and that was what he wanted. It was so much easier when he was left alone. Matt had spent quite a bit of time as a loner the past two years. It was different from how he used to be, that was sure. Back in 7th grade, he was a nerd who loved playing the flute. He was also one of the sweetest kids around.

But all that changed. Back in 9th grade, he met a girl, Nicole. She made his little nerdy heart skip a few beats, and what made it more amazing was that she liked him. Matt couldn't believe it. This girl was so incredible, and she was a year older! She was his first girlfriend. They had been together for six months, before she started asking him to make changes. She wanted him to get a new wardrobe, and dress more like JJ Yorke. She wanted him to put the flute up, and get contacts instead of the glasses he had. Finally, she wanted to sleep with him.

But Matt wasn't ready. He couldn't bring himself to do what she wanted. He felt like a coward for doing it. But he had been able to resist temptation and walk away.That was the last time he ever saw her.

She disappeared from school, and rumors fled that she had slept with some guy from Lakehurst and got an STD. Matt desperately tried to reach her, but she wouldn't take any of his calls. Finally, one day, it was announced that she had committed suicide.

Matt couldn't believe it. He had never known anyone who had ever done that before. The boy was stunned and scared at the same time. When he got home, there was a letter waiting for him from Nicole. The details of the letter were fuzzy now. He couldn't remember exactly what it said. But the message was loud and clear--THIS IS YOUR FAULT.

That letter changed everything for Matt. He remembered showing it to his father and listening to him assure him that it was not his fault. Still, her words haunted him. All he wanted was an escape. His request to go on home school for the rest of the year and go visit his grandparents' place for the summer was granted, and when Matt returned from Marco's parents' , two weeks before the new year started, he had changed his image.

That was almost two years ago. By now, everyone was used to the new Matt. The kids who he used to be friends with no longer tried. The kids who bullied him left him alone. Especially after the knife-fight with JJ earlier this year, and now the fireworks incident. Who wanted to mess with a kid who spent a week in juvenile hall?

His eyes raised from the tray, settling on Willow, who was flirting with Jack. As soon as she saw him, she sat in Jack's lap. Matt couldn't hear what she was saying, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. By now, the entire school new about what he had done to Jack, and it was obvious that Jack had the sympathy vote. Nobody was going to even bother asking him why he did it, except for Alanna. Alanna. He had growled at her earlier that day for it. Probably scared her off. Ahh, well. she was better off.

[Alanna Adams]

Alanna didn't really understand what was up with Matt's attitude today. She understood that things had changed with him. He had taken on that brooding, loner persona, but so far they hadn't had any problems between them. And everyone changed. Alanna wasn't the exact same girl she had been back in middle school either. If any of them were the same, it would be surprising. But, that didn't mean that she wasn't concerned about her friend. And despite how much she tried to get along with everyone and thought that Jack was pretty cute, with that charming smile and Aussie accent, he wasn't a friend the way that Matt was. And that put Matt on top priority in class and she couldn't just let it go. She didn't let go of anything too well, frankly. She was a stubborn one and completely out to speak her mind, no matter what the cost. So when lunch came around, she brought her bag into the cafeteria with her. She didn't always care for cafeteria food, so what she could bring from home worked for her. As she looked around for a table, she caught sight of Matt and walked right over to the table and slid into the seat across from him without waiting for permission.

"So, we gonna talk about this damage vibe you're throwing off at me?" She asked immediately. And although it was blunt, there was compassion in her tone. She was worried about him, yes. None of this was said because she was angry or afraid of him. In fact, it was all out of worry for him. The blonde didn't think that he was going to snap at her for nothing. That was a little ridiculous, wasn't it? There had to be a reason and if she had to play detective to figure it out, she would. Though, she would much rather hear what he had to say straight from him, rather than trying to put together pieces of a puzzle that she didn't even have a picture of. She opened up her bag, to prove she had no thought of moving and pulled out a plastic container, popping it open so she could eat while she waited to hear what he had to say. She didn't think he would chase her off necessarily and if he tried, he would have a hard time at it.

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Matt looked at her. What was she doing? "Did I ask you to sit down?" he growled, knowing full well he hadn't. Nobody sat near him. There had been a few people who occassionally chose to venture to his corner of the world, but they now regretted it, he was sure. Matt didn't have friends. Well, he had Shayne, but not even Shayne sat beside him. Before, he wanted to seem like a tough, dangerous, mysterious kid. But now? Being with him was dangerous, because of Jack. He didn't want to see anyone get hurt, even if he put off the persona that he didn't care.

When she asked if they were going to talk, he glared at her. "Nothing to talk about. Stay out of my way, leave me alone, you won't get hurt." his words were pressed, and he tried to sound dark, menacing. Would he hurt her? No, never. Matt would never harm a girl. But he knew Jack wouldn't think twice about taking her life if he noticed that the two were close. He couldn't let that happen. And if it took pushing her away, then he would do it. The teenager knew that she would never understand. How could she? This was something no kid should ever deal with. So he might as well not try to explain it.