running blind [katie]

[Danny Maxwell]

It had been a couple of days and almost everything was unpacked. There were still a few things in his room that he had yet to dig out and Chris' room wasn't complete yet. Honestly, he was hoping that some of the toys still packed wouldn't be remembered by the four year old and they could downsize more than they had before the move. The kid didn't want to part with anything, even if he hadn't actually seen it in months. Danny realised that halfway through all of that, that he shouldn't have been asking his son what he wanted to keep or what he didn't want. But, he felt bad for him and he had lost enough without him secretly discarding toys. The main rooms were complete though; the kitchen unpacked and set up, same with the living room and bathroom. So, it wasn't so bad. It was a pretty big apartment, not as big as the house had been, but they didn't need that much space and without two paychecks coming in, he couldn't afford a house like that. It was around three in the afternoon and he was sitting on the couch, watching some old sitcom quietly while he heard the little boy trampling around somewhere near the kitchen.

That was until he heard a loud crash of a chair falling, a yell from the four year old and... silence. He grabbed the remote and turned the television down, waiting to hear sniffling, anything, but nothing came. Cautiously, he called from the living room, "Did Superman die?"

"Never!" The token response came and all worry fled from him in an instant and instead, he leaned his head back against the couch and laughed quietly to himself before standing up and heading around to the kitchen. The boy was laying there next to a fallen chair, looking a little shocked, but in good shape. He could already picture what he tried to do. Lately, he had been trying to leap off things, Superman style and that must have led him to think the top of the chair was worth jumping off of. He leaned down and scooped up the caped boy in his arms, and tried to reach down and pull the chair up with the other. Being a parent made him skilled at juggling kids and objects.

"Superman needs to keep his superpowers on the ground," he said, and Chris shook his head, frowning.

"No, daddy, Superman's got to fly!"

"Superman's gonna get his cape revoked if he keeps it up," he teased, ruffling the fluffy brunette head before he brought him over the living room and set him down in the chair, telling him to sit down for a while. He listened (for once), which Danny quickly realised was because he was tired and brought naptime on for himself. Danny returned to the couch and had been sitting there for about ten minutes before he looked over and saw the little kid passed out in the chair. Smiling to himself, he got up, grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and gently put it over him. With the kid out, he looked back at the television, glad that it was a little quiet and he didn't have to worry about the four year old's superhero antics.

[Deleted]

The doorknob jiggled as Tara attempted to remember which way to turn the key. She had been gone since early that morning. Having woken up at five, the girl had gone for a jog before returning home, showering, and calling Neveah and waking her up to go shopping. She hadn't spent very much from her birthday money, and she wanted to catch up with her friend. That, and, well, most of her clothes had been tossed for the simple fact that her mom and her had picked them out together. She had always done her shopping with her mother. It was their pasttime together. And now she was out of her life, and Tara planned to keep her out.

She had gone to Hot Topic, a store she had never dared to ask her mom to go in before. She had picked out some fishnet stockings, and black mini skirt and new pumps. She then found herself a peasant top, deciding it would be her outfit for her first day of school. Once she had that, she focused mainly on jeans and tops, while keeping up a lively conversation with her friend. They finished around lunchtime, had gotten lunch, and then went their separate ways. Tara started to take the bus back home, when she saw something her dad just had to have. Grinning, she spent the last of her money on it before getting on the bus.

Once she had the door open, she set her bags down and pulled out his gift. Tara looked to where her dad was. Smiling, she stepped quietly, even though she was sure she hadn't been very quiet coming in the apartment, and reached forward, putting her hands over his eyes. "You can't see yet," she said, announcing her presence with a giggle as she set the box in his lap. It was a small, red motorcycle model for him. "You have to close your eyes so I can sit down before you see. It's a surprise." After all, she couldn't just go shopping for herself without getting her dad something. That was the way she was.

[Danny Maxwell]

Danny heard Tara come in, though he didn't expect the hands to suddenly go over his eyes and chuckled. "I really hope this isn't a guess who kind of thing, because I'd be a little worried about who else might be in the apartment," he teased her, just as he felt the box land on his lap. He knew she had been out all day, but he hadn't been worried about her at all. She was a good kid and he didn't expect her to get into any trouble. Of course, sometimes she took her protests a little too far, but she was passionate about that and he understood. He also supported her, except she needed to learn that you couldn't go out and throw baby formula on people, no matter how much you disliked their point of view. There were other less messy and intrusive ways to do it. Ways that didn't start fights and end with a cop car in the driveway. "And that better not be a puppy, because I have Mitzy trained to eat any new puppies on site," he added. Although it was ridiculous to think that there was a puppy in an unmoving box of that size.

He closed his eyes though, nodding. "All right, eyes closed. Sit." He said, curious as to what she might have gotten him. Even now, with surprises from his daughter, he found it hard not to just look. He had always been like that though, eager to see what a surprise was when he was told that that was, in fact what it was. He was happy that she had at least gone out. At first, he was a little worried about moving them. He knew moving could be rough, but she seemed to want to do it in the end and he was glad for that. Plus, her friend lived closer now and he thought that would be a great advantage. He didn't want to uproot her, even if it was just across the city. But, Danny wasn't able to live in that house for long. It was filled with memories that while he loved, were painful. They needed to start new.

[Deleted]

Her mother was a subject that Tara had avoided talking about since the day the woman left. She had shrugged and told her dad she was fine, even when she was ready to cry. She hadn't cried, though. Except for one day. When her mom didn't show for her birthday, the girl had been hurt. She had waited until everyone was gone, she had gone in her room, and she had cried, holding onto Mitzy. But she hadn't talked about her. Not to her father, anyway. She had opened up to Neveah, but she was the only one. Not even Lyle knew why she was so adamant about pouring the formula on those protestors. Honestly, had her mom not left with that stupid note, she probably would have talked her friends out of it. She knew it was stupid. She knew it was taking it too far. But she was too mad over her mom to care. Now that her birthday was past and they were out of that house, Tara was plastering a smile on her face. As long as the word mom didn't come up, she was pretty sure she would be ok. She was coping by avoiding the subject. Maybe not the most healthy, but hey, it was working.

"Dad!" she laughed when he said it better not be a new puppy. She had done that once. And it was back when Chris was born. The eleven year old had been jealous of the new baby and had tried to smuggle a new puppy in. It ended up running away, anyway. And after a sleepover with Neveah, she had gotten over her jealousy. She actually started to enjoy being a big sister. Especially when he was two and she was thirteen and he would let her put makeup on him. Yeah, that was always fun.

She went around and climbed on the couch, sitting facing him as she crossed her legs indian style and looked at him. "Ok. Open" she said with a grin. She knew that everything would be ok. They were still a family. They didn't need her. Tara made up her mind that she would never want or need another mother, either. All she needed was the man beside her. The teenager giggled, putting her hand over her mouth when she saw her brother asleep. She didn't want to wake him up, after all.

[Danny Maxwell]

"What?" He teased. "It's not my fault my daughter smuggles puppies." He joked, although it had only been once. He couldn't help but tease her about it. It was light-heartedly. Though, of course, he hoped she never brought any more animals home. They had one dog and that was enough, especially for the apartment. He didn't want too many animals running around. Having a four year old, a dog, and a teenager was more than enough. To be honest, when it came to the subject of her mother, he wasn't sure how to breach the topic. Of course he had to explain that she was gone when she left and it was hard to do that, especially when he could barely come to terms with it himself. It came so suddenly. He hadn't had any idea and her apology didn't mean much. It stung to be betrayed and then left. She couldn't even face him and tell him the truth. It was cowardly and he felt abandoned. But, it wasn't the kid's fault and he wanted to make sure they didn't think so. And that was where he didn't get it. She shouldn't have been able to just walk away from them for some bastard (who only became a bastard after he found out he'd been sleeping with his wife). Explaining it to Chris had been the hardest. Telling Chris why his mom wasn't around wasn't something that the boy understood easily. And he knew he missed her. He shouldn't have to though, because she should have still been in his life.

When she finally told him he could open his eyes, he did and instantly grabbed the box from his lap to look at it. And immediately, he grinned. He loved motorcycles. They were kind of a hobby of his, well real life ones and the models. He wasn't rich so he wasn't going to have a real motorcycle collection. But he collected the models pretty religiously. "Hey, this is awesome. Where'd you get it?" He asked, obviously liking it quite a bit. Danny wanted everything to be as normal as possible. One day, he figured he would have to really talk about their mother, because he couldn't avoid the topic and neither could they. Well, Tara shouldn't. Chris was four and talking to him about it was very different. But for now, he wanted things to get more routine, for them all to still be a family with or without his ex. She needed to have an influence on their life, but if she wanted to walk out, then he wasn't going to let the family break for her.

[Deleted]

Tara loved the smile on his face. Lunging forward, she hugged him and kissed his cheek. "Out by the mall. Neveah and I went shopping," she explained, standing up. "I spent the rest of my birthday money." She knew that getting more clothes after having cut down on her things wasn't what he had in mind, but she did need clothes. She picked up her bags and put them in her room, that was mostly unpacked. She had a few things that rested in their boxes until she could figure out what to do with them. Closing her door, she turned back to face him.

"Ok, so here's the thing. And I didn't get you that so you would say yes. I promise. I spotted it and I would have grabbed it whether or not there was a party." And there went the words before she could even really butter him up. Biting her lip, she walked back over to the couch, sitting on the arm rest. "But Neveah says that Degrassi's got this championship basketball game, and if they win, One of the players is throwing a party after the game to celebrate. Jack something or other. And she doesn't wanna go without me, and I dunno, I mean, Basketball is lame but it might be cool to go to my first unsupervised party?" Yeah, she hid the word unsupervised well, she thought.

[Danny Maxwell]

"I'mglad you had fun," Danny said, with a smile. "And thanks." He really was glad that she was out having fun. He thought that her being closer to Neveah would be nice, though it was also still moving and he was trying to make it as clean of a move as possible. To him, the apartment was already starting to feel like home. It was different from the last place, very different, but it fit, and with all of the things, it looked like something that could be gotten used to. And from what he saw, Chris was getting used to it fast. He was hoping that he would be the fastest to adapt, only because knowing exactly how to help a little kid adjust was a little more difficult. He watched as she left and came back, immediately giving her a bit of a sceptical, curious look when she started the sentence off like that. It wasn't that he didn't believe her, it was just an interesting way to start a sentence and he was bracing himself for what was going to come.

And then it did and he was quiet for several seconds, thinking about it. He didn't like the idea; as a parent, of course he didn't. A high school party was something that most parents were wary of, especially unsupervised ones. And he figured that anytime it was called supervised, that was probably a lie. He'd been a teenager once. And it wasn't that outrageously long ago. At least she was honest about the unsupervised part. He had to give her props for that one. "You might want to hit back on that unsupervised part again," he said, letting her know it hadn't passed him by. "You're trying to drive me crazy, aren't you?" He teased, but every parent was driven a little crazy when it came to worry. "I don't like the idea, but I know you're smart and I'd like to think you would know when to get out of a party if things took a turn and wouldn't do anything too stupid..." But she was a kid, and kids did stupid things, naturally. "But if you're gonna go, I'd rather let you, knowing where you are, and knowing you can call me if you need me." He didn't think she would go behind his back, but it could happen. And hell, he did it to his parents when he was a kid. They said no to a party, he went anyway and then when something went awry, he had no one to go to.

[Deleted]

She bit her thumb nail, looking up at him with wide, pleading eyes when he went silent. Parties weren't normally her thing. Hell, it wasn't normally Neveah's thing. But Neveah wanted to prove that she wasn't a goodie goodie, and Tara, well, she was just trying to get over her mom leaving. Tara knew what went on at parties. And according to her friend, the boy wasn't shy about letting everyone know about alcohol. Honestly, Tara didn't see what the big deal was. She thought it took a lot to get drunk. Even if she had beer, she probably wouldn't even get buzzed, right? But she wouldn't say that. She wanted permission and she wasn't stupid. Underaged drinking was probably not something her father was an advocate of.

As soon as he mentioned the unsupervised part, she pouted. She was dreading the one word that she was sure would come out of his mouth. It was funny how the word no could be feared so much. "No," she sulked, when he asked her if she was trying to drive him crazy. It was one party. How much harm could one party do? She was prepared with arguments. She was doing really well in school. She didn't get into trouble usually, except that one thing but the party wasn't a protest! She had a million good reasons to be allowed to go. And his answer, despite being in the affirmative, took her a second to process.

"But--wait. That's a yes??" she asked, a smile slowly appearing on her face. She let out a scream, forgetting her sleeping brother, and jumped on him, hugging him again "thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you!" She sat up, pulling away from him and pushed her hair behind her ears. "Do you need your car washed? Or, I could make dinner." she eagerly offered. Hey, she was excited. She had already made up her mind that she was going to make some changes. Going to a party was a good start. She didn't want to be the same girl her mother knew. Yes, she would still protest things. But everything else, she wanted to change.

[Danny Maxwell]

Danny wasn't completely ignorant to what happened at high school parties. Nor did he think that just because Tara was a good kid that she might not try alcohol or do something to get herself into trouble. She was still a kid. And that's where he worried. She was responsible, but bound to make mistakes. But, he would rather let her make them and be there to help her out than to find out that she needed help and never came to him in fear of being in trouble. If his wife had still been around, she probably would have thought Danny was insane for his allowance. They didn't always agree on how to parent, but she was the one that walked out on it. So if someone was going to complain about the other's parenting, it was going to be Danny. Her cheating didn't have to involve the kids. She could leave him, he understood that. It hurt, of course, it hurt, but that was their relationship and that was between the two of them. But, to just leave the kids along with him, that was different. He wanted her to have a say in their lives, because she was still their mother. No matter how much he wanted to punch her boss, or how upset he was at her, he didn't want that to reflect how their kids were raised. He wanted them to still have their mother. But, she was the one that walked away.

He watched her, curiously, when it sounded like she was going to try to argue his answer. It was practically a yes. A hesitant and nervous yes, but a yes, all the same. He laughed when she caught on and hugged her back. "Shh, you're going to wake up the beast over there," he teased. "You know, I think the cleaning and cooking is supposed to come before you ask," he joked. "Don't get too excited, there's going to be rules. And a curfew. I don't care if the party lasts until dawn, I don't want you out all night, at an unsupervised party." He thought it was reasonable if he was letting her go at all. He had no idea how long it was supposed to last, but those kind of parties tended to go for hours, that was if they didn't get into any trouble. Which, was definitely a concern.

[Deleted]

"Sorry!" she whispered when he told her not to wake up her brother. "I just didn't think you'd actually say yes! I mean mom--" she stopped mid-sentence. She hadn't said the M word since she left. Her tone had gone from excited to sarcastic, and she knew if she finished the sentence, then what she would have said would be a major insult to her mother. Not like she cared. She had chosen a variety of names for the woman, all of which were derogatory. Her favorite was the evil one, and that was the one she commonly used when speaking to Neveah. But this wasn't Neveah or any of her other friends. This was her dad. And mentioning the woman would either make him upset because of what she did to him, or it would bring up the subject and he would want to talk. Tara didn't want to talk, not about her. Anything else, she would have been an open book about. But not her mother.

She shook her head, wanting to change the direction of their conversation, so maybe he would ignore the M word. Rules. He had mentioned rules. Tara would comment on that. "No setting my purse or my drink down unless it's an empty cup and I'm gonna grab another one. Keep all my clothes on and stay away from the upstairs bedrooms. Don't eat out of a community bowl, but if I need to eat out of it, be the one who's refilling it and grab some before I set it back down. Make sure I know where all the exits are, and if there's the slightest sign of a fight, don't stand around to see what happens because fights usually lead to cops and being arrested is bad" she stated the things she had picked up from school, listening to stories of things that had happened at parties before. "Right?" she asked, looking up at him.

[Danny Maxwell]

"Mom isn't here to make these decisions," Danny replied, calmly and at the same time a little gently. He knew it was a sensitive topic and maybe he didn't breach it enough. He wasn't sure how to approach it. He was well aware that he had to prioritise a little bit. The relationship of his ex and his kids was important and he needed to be more sensitive to them and in assuring that their mother still loved them and should be in their life. That was more important than what was going on with him. He was the adult and he would deal with his problems without concerning the kids. Of course he was hurt by the whole thing. It stung badly. She could have probably shot him in the chest and it would have felt a lot better than being left by his wife at random and learning she'd been cheating on him for quite a while. It was hard for him to face, but he wasn't going to forget the kids. "Tara, you can talk about her, you know. She's still your mother." He said softly, letting her know it wasn't a subject she needed to be gentle around. "And if you want her opinion..."

Danny didn't think she did. Of course, she would say no a million times over and probably yell at him for even thinking about saying yes. But, at this point, Danny didn't care what she yelled at him about. She closed the door for him to have respect for her. Listening to her list off the things that she wasn't supposed to do made him blink at her. "Are after school specials getting more interesting or something?" He asked, jokingly. "But yeah, that just about covers it. And even if there's not a fight, if things get rowdy or if someone complains. Get out of there. And if anything goes wrong, I don't care how much trouble you think you'll be in, I want you to call me, all right? For anything."

[Deleted]

Tara rolled her eyes, not at her dad. Oh, no. She would never roll her eyes at her dad. She rolled her eyes at the thought that she was still her mother and she could possibly want her opinion. Hell, no! Tara didn't want any opinions from the bitch. "No, she's not," she corrected him. Because to her, she really wasn't. Tara wasn't exactly looking for a new mother, but she had just decided that she didn't need one. She had her daddy. He would never leave her. He would never miss her birthday. She had complete faith in him. And right now, he was the only one she really trusted. Well, besides her little brother, but he was only four, and her best friend. But as far as adults went, it was her dad and only her dad.

She smiled at his joke. "I listen to the stories at school, and I pretty much come up with that. I do learn from other kids' mistakes," she said with a shrug. When he said to call him, though, she looked at him, confusion all over her face. "But what could go wrong?" Oh, if only she knew. The young girl was pretty innocent when it came to these things. But she thought that with her list of don'ts, nothing could go wrong. So, she posted the question. Hey, at least she wasn't saying she wouldn't let anything go wrong. She knew full well that stuff happens, even when you don't mean to.

[Danny Maxwell]

If Danny could magically mend his daughter's relationship with her mother, he would have. He didn't want their split to affect her this way. It wasn't fair on Tara. But, at the same time, it wasn't all his fault or Tara's. Maggie had to take some responsibility, but he was going to do his best not to speak ill of her around Tara. He especially made sure not to around Chris, because he couldn't really decipher the situation. And as far as he was concerned, Tara had every right to be upset at Maggie. He understood it fully, but it didn't mean he wanted this to carry on forever. "She is, Tara. Being angry with her doesn't change that." Again, he tried to be gentle about it. He didn't want this to turn into a debate or a fight over it. He wasn't looking to work her up in the least bit. But, he wasn't going to let her say that Maggie wasn't either.

"Well, keep that up, it's working," at least, so far, because she hadn't gotten into any major trouble that he could be overwhelmingly upset with yet. At her confusion though, he was introduced to her naivity. "A lot." He replied. "Parties don't usually go as planned. It can go very wrong." He didn't know if he should start throwing specific examples to scare her, but he wasn't going to say that nothing could. "Believe me, I've seen my fair share." He'd been in high school once. And private school kids partied just as hard as their public counterparts, if not with more money from their parents to make trouble disappear if cops were ever to show up. Only if his parents ever found him at a party, they had been likely to throw a complete fit. And once he made it to college, the partying stopped, really. He was nineteen when Tara was born, so his time for partying in New York had been limited.

[Deleted]

Tara gave a playful smile, ignoring what he said about her mother. She really did not want to talk about her. "Of course you have...back when Dinosaurs roamed the earth," she teased with a giggle. She knew it hadn't quite been that long. Actually, her dad had been in school at around the same time as Havoc. Tara was obsessed with Havoc. When she was eleven, she had been rummaging through her mom's things from back in high school, and she had found an article from the school paper, written by one Maggie Stillwater. It was talking about a protest turned riot, led by Havoc and a girl named Jubilee. That article was the first of dozens that her mother had saved; some she had written, others from the Toronto Star. The last article was a printed, translated article from Tokyo, Japan. Tara fell in love with the articles, and she had taken them back to her room. To this day, she read them over and over; they were her favorite stories. Tara loved the idea that he might have known him. Or maybe even gone to parties with him.

Snapping out of her thoughts, Tara looked up at her father. "What kinds of things?" she asked, curious as to what type of parties her dad had gone to. "Did Havoc go to any of them? God, that would have been so cool. I'll bet that underneath that costume, he was totally hot." She smiled dreamily. She hadn't even told him that she had those articles, until right before her fifteenth birthday. She hadn't thought it was anything he had to know. They were just a stack of articles that she read like comic books. When she did bring it up, she had asked for a costume for her protests. She had been trying to come up with the perfect name, and she couldn't think of one. She had hoped that if she had a costume, it would be easier. She still couldn't choose, almost a month later.