a clean slate (Liiiaaaammm)

[Deleted]

"You can repent and start off with a clean slate"

Those words were spoken to her by some old Baptist that found her in the hospital. It was the words followed by it that gave Hannah a strong aversion from that particular preacher. He encouraged her to escape from eternal damnation. Hannah didn't really appreciate the thought of being damned. Usually, religion wasn't anything that ever interested Hannah. But things had changed. Having her baby cut out of her and then being stabbed and almost bleeding to death changed alot about Hannah.

God suddenly didn't seem so stupid now. Hannah suddenly wanted to find him. She had been asked once if she had found Jesus yet. She had given the older woman a funny look and said that she didn't know he was missing. Before the attempted murder, it was all a big joke to her. Now, she felt an innert need to find a God, any God, as long as he was a nice one.

Why she left the security of her dad's home was a strange one. She was going to find Chance. Hannah would do anything to be with her brother. He saved her life, after all. She had taken a bus back into Toronto and was going to go straight to Chance. When the bus turned onto the street with the big Catholic church, something inside of Hannah yearned for it. Without thinking, she pulled on the string to request a stop. She gazed up at the huge building before going inside.

She watched in wonderment as a mass was going over. Hannah pressed her lips together and waited until everyone else had gone. She then walked slowly down the aisle, her eyes on the statue of Jesus. "So what's your story? You're supposed to be the lord and savior, right? How come they treated you like that? Pinned you to a cross? I-I know how it feels. How did you do it? Knowing that this was going to be the ending of your life? I bet you didn't scream or cry or beg for your life the way I did. I think about that all the time." She looked down. She had been weak and fragile.

Just speak from your heart, one foster parent had told her the last time she was taken to a church. The eleven year old girl had rolled her eyes and left. It was this same church, too. Now, here she was...talking to a statue. Was she crazy? "you can't even hear me, can you? God, this is so stupid. I've done so many bad things, even you probably wouldn't save me." She backed up, ready to get out of there before she was accused of stealing anything.

[Liam Sullivan]

Mass was finished and Liam was busy talking to a few parishioners before the church cleared out. When he turned, he saw someone else still there and it was fine with him. After all the church was open to all people for as long as they needed. Slowly, he approached, listening to her discussion with the statue. She sounded so lost. And it wasn't unknown to him for people to be so lost and unsure. It was the way the world was, and it was why they were there at the core of it; to help people come to God, to give them their salvation. "No one is exempt from being saved, Christ died for all of our sins. Not only the slightly better sinners." Liam interrupted her, since the cross couldn't answer her questions and frankly, he didn't want to see her turned away. It didn't concern him what types of things she may have done. Liam didn't know the young woman, and he didn't judge either way. It didn't matter what the person had done, everyone could be saved, as long as they believed and meant it. Even the worst of criminals, if they found the love of God and repented could be saved. And Liam doubted that girl was the hardest of criminals. She was just a child.

"No one is turned away." He added, speaking as welcoming as possible. He didn't want to scare her away. She was a soul that needed help and that was what he was there for. He wanted to help her, because he knew it was the right thing to do. By no means did hearing that she had done things bother him. It didn't make him leery of her or make him think that she could be dangerous or might take something. None of that even crossed his mind. She obviously wasn't there to cause any harm.

[Deleted]

Hannah had turned around to go when she saw Liam just seconds before he spoke. "what'd he do that for?" the old sarcasm came out, but as he went closer, she took a few steps backwards. "St-stay away. Don't hur-hurt me, or I'll-" she'd what? Hannah didn't even know anymore. She was trying to sound intimidating, something she was normally good at. Buyt she just sounded scared. And she was, she was terrified. Looking up at him, she imagined him wearing a mask and it scared her.

She felt the tears trying to come out of her eyes, and scolded herself silently for it. She crossed her arms and eyed the confession booth. "Do I have to go in the box?" She figured she probably did. She had never confessed before. Well, except for when it really wasn't a priest. It was her sister. So she was under the assumption that she'd have to go in the big box.

[Liam Sullivan]

"Because he loves us, everyone." Liam was unaffected by her sarcasm. It didn't bother him one bit, although, he was thrown off by her sudden wave of fear. He paused and put his hands up defensively, to let her know that he was not only harmless but not about to push her limits. Were women just naturally skittish around here? He met plenty of women during service, and through their attendance and help with the church, but so far two women including this one had acted terrified of him. Liam wouldn't hurt her. It wasn't in his nature. Although, he wondered if maybe he looked scary. He never thought he did, and as far as he knew that hadn't changed. There were scarier looking men out there. Surely Liam didn't have a frightening face or even a frightening build. Still, he kept his distance and shook his head. "I won't hurt you." He assured the girl.

"Not if you don't want to," Liam said, glancing towards the 'box'. And there was that word again. He didn't think it was too hard to remember that it was a booth, but apparently box was the coined Canadian term. He hadn't heard anyone in the church refer to it as a box, but then again, everything had a proper term there. Liam wasn't sure why that was the constant name for it. Whatever the case, he wouldn't make a girl that was obviously afraid go into the booth like that. It would probably only terrify her more. Not that he could possibly hurt her there either. He wanted to help the poor teenager, not cause her any sort of pain or distress.

[Deleted]

Hannah swallowed and looked down. She thought about his words and she sat down in a nearby pew and folded her arms. "He loves everyone? Including the man who tried to kill me?" Her voice was meek and scared. Maybe she should forgive--whoever it was that hurt her. Maybe she deserved it.

"I've done so many bad things. I-I've hurt people, good people. I think that God wanted me to learn a lesson. That's why I'm here. Cause I don't want his next lesson to be grabbed from behind, cut open, burned, stabbed, and my toes nailed together." She closed her eyes as she recalled what had been done to her. Tears brimmed her eyes and quickly wiping them, she stood up. "I shouldn't have come. I'm wasting your time"

[Liam Sullivan]

It would have probably been more comforting to tell her that God didn't love the wicked. Even Liam, who devoted himself as a servant of God would feel more assured that God didn't put evil in his favour. The truth was that he didn't favour evil and did not love the action. But all of his creations were loved, despite their wickedness. The wicked would be cast away, but they were not without love of a God that would forgive them. But God's forgiveness was not the same as man's forgiveness. Liam knew that they were expected to be forgiving, but as a human, he knew better than to think that all actions could be forgiven. They were flawed creatures in God's image and pain sometimes ran too deep. Listening to her, he decided against being dishonest and nodded. "Even him. God's love isn't discriminate. But the wicked are not allowed in his grace." Liam explained gently. "The only relationship that need concern you is yours to God. Not his."

As he listened more, he shook his head. "God doesn't punish us," Liam explained. It wasn't God's will that caused bad things to happen. The evil in the world was caused by Satan, not God. And it was not God that caused bad things to happen or that punished the wicked until their time of death. That was when judgement was passed. Until then, they were children of God that needed to learn, repent on their own and ask for forgiveness. God did not punish. It was up to them to take responsibility. "He's not out to hurt you," the more he listened, he felt almost like shuddering. "That is not a lesson of the Father, but the wickedness of man." He posed. It was natural for people to feel punished when bad things happened, and it was his belief that God expected them to question. Used to the pointed fingers and the questioning, they were only given a certain capacity. They couldn't understand how God worked. He couldn't tell anyone why things happened. But, he did know that when horrible things happened, it wasn't the God that he had faith in that caused it. He wouldn't believe that. It would shake his faith and he was a young man of strong faith. And she was obviously a young girl in need of some guidance.

[Deleted]

Hannah looked at him before looking down at her shuffling feet. He wasn't what she expected in the least. But perhaps that was a good thing. If he had been an old man with white hair, she wouldn't have confided in him about the attempted murder. He looked like he was Chance and Jason's age. "He didn't do anything" she whispered. "H-he would have let me die. How the hell does a God who loves me sit back and watch me get tortured by a goddamned serial killer?" she hissed at him, but she wasn't angry. She had fear in her voice, not anger. "Probably had a fucking bowl of popcorn too"

She looked at the door. She felt shaken. She had already been kidnapped, and that had left her scared and whimpery. But this--this left her terrified. "I-" she felt the tears begin to stream down her face and she scowled at it. Crying! She never cried. She felt like a baby. She slowly looked up at the man. If it was either of her fathers or one of her older brothers, she would have lunged into his arms, crying into his chest. She gave him a pleading look. She wanted to scream, to beg him to help her. But she couldn't get the words out.