I don't break hearts. [Open: Adult chars. only]

[Marco Del Rossi]

From the outside, Marco appeared to be held together. He buried himself in his work and in taking care of every little thing that the one kid he had with him needed. Ever the responsible one, this didn't change in light of his separation from Ben. If anything, his success was heightened in that timespan. The perfectionist in him was running in overdrive. There were no breaks. Everything he did ran on a tight schedule. He couldn't slow down for a second. Anyone around him could attest to that. The speed and efficiency wasn't at all natural, but one pause and everything could start to crack. It was as if he was running across a sheet of glass balanced thousands of feet in the air; a sheet that would break if he lingered even a little bit too long. Before the break up, Marco hadn't been sleeping and now-- Now, he hardly knew what the word meant. At night, he busied himself with sketches, business ideas and preparing for the next day. If he slept, it was for a couple of hours before dawn. Then, he was up again. With everything that he tried to distract himself with, he made damn sure to be there in any way for Aidan. But, even Aidan saw it...

Marco was becoming too perfect. For someone that lost the person he'd been in love with for years, he was handling it all too well. The truth was, every minute and every day was a countdown to an eventual breakdown. He was as unstable as ever before and any break in his day would bring his thoughts around to the depressing reality. Ben was gone, with someone else and with him were the kids that he'd have done anything for. They weren't out of his life and he knew that no matter what happened between himself and Ben, they'd still be just as much his. It was his husband that ate away at him. The memory of him was driving him absolutely insane. When did their relationship become so severed? And when did Marco become not good enough? As much as he tried to blame his ex, he couldn't. Above all else, he couldn't help but see himself as the fault. He needed someone else. All of a sudden, Marco wasn't good enough. Cheating was never solely about the other person. The Italian had learned that when he was nothing more than a kid. It changed his entire perception about himself.

Where he thought he did an excellent job at hiding how he felt, he was proven wrong. Staying an hour and a half away from Toronto, Marco actually wound up closer to one of his many cousins. Having such an extended family did have it's perks from time to time. That night, he'd been trying to hold a conversation with his laptop perched in front of him while he furiously typed away. Somehow, that turned out to be the final straw. Out of no where, his cousin ripped the computer from him and seized the smaller man by the arm and tugged him to his feet. Perplexed, Marco had stared at him with astonishment.

"That's it, Marco. Go. Get out of here. Do something-- Anything! I don't give a damn what it is. But, you need to get out. You're driving yourself insane. Don't protest-- Don't--" Before the dark-haired male could say anything, he could feel his body being hauled away from the couch and towards the front door of the apartment. Lucky for him, he was still dressed and his shoes hadn't come off, or else he'd be walking out into the cold without.

"-What? What about Aidan? I can't just go." He tried to push his responsibilities as a father back onto his cousin, but he wouldn't have it. Instead, the taller shook his head.

"I've got him. I won't let anything happen." It wasn't that Marco didn't trust him, but he wanted to have a reason to stay. He didn't want to leave. His damn cousin was going to force him to think about it. He was going to make it impossible for him not to remember exactly why he was here.

"Dad, go." The voice came as a shock, but from the living room where he'd been seconds ago. The longer he stayed, the worse it would be. Even Aidan could see what was happening. He needed to leave-- The man needed to cope with everything or else it would build up until he could no longer fight it off and it took him over completely. At that point, there'd be no easy way to lift himself up again. The weight on his shoulders was enough to crush him. For someone as small as he was, he could certainly carry a lot. Assessing the situation, his eyes had travelled from the boy to his cousin.

"--I-- I need my coat." He muttered after a minute and with his arm still being squeezed by the older family member, the coat was grabbed from the hanger next to the door and handed to him. At that point, Marco was released and he pulled the long black coat over his body. "Everything'll be all right?" He asked, and when they assured it, he walked out. Marco had no idea where he would wind up. He never wanted to leave to begin with. Unfortunately for him, he hadn't had much of a choice in the matter either. They had made that very clear and he wasn't going to argue with it further.

It was a subconscious pull that led Marco's vehicle back to Toronto. He made a point to show up as little as possible. Work drew him into the city a couple of times. Instead of going to anyone that he knew, Marco wound up on Church Street. It was a familiar area and he would much rather be with the non-straight crowd tonight. Even if he had no intention of picking anybody up. If all went according to plan, then he wouldn't meet with any of his friends. They didn't deserve to hear him, anyway. When the split first occurred, Marco had very nearly made a mistake, but the absence of a certain male made it impossible. The first person he wanted to run to was Dylan. In retrospect, it was absurd. But, he had wanted that shoulder to lean on-- The only other male that he had ever loved and he thought had ever understood him as clearly as Ben did. The only one that ever managed to hurt him as much as his husband did too. Ellie and Paige were out of the question as far as running to went. Ellie had enough problems and didn't need Marco's to add to it and Paige-- Well, Paige was probably busy with her life to be bothered with his problems. All of his life, Marco had been the shoulder for anyone that came to him. He was the strong pillar that allowed the world to lean on him. But, when it came to his own pain, he often found the world very empty. What did he ever do to deserve it? When Marco was alone, he was truly alone. Everyone had someone they could run to. But, he had nothing.

No, he had a drink. He had a drink that he gripped as if letting go would be metaphorical as well as physical. It was a half-empty bar that received Marco's patronage and quietly, he drank glass after glass until the lull of a buzz started to hum around his head. It made him feel warm, relaxed, but completely vulnerable to his emotions. He was being punished. That was the only explanation he had. He must have done something in the past to deserve what was happening now. That strong barrier was being torn down to pieces, leaving a scared, sad boy in the wake of it.

I don't need this. I'm stronger than that. Strong enough to leave, and strong enough not to act like a whimpering little girl. In every area of his life, Marco always tried to be strong. And in a relationship, he was no different. Sure, he fell too emotion quicker, but he was never weak. And now, it was more important than ever before to be the strong one. I don't need him. He was one thing that always had made sense to him and now he didn't. None of it did. Here he was, so many years into a relationship. He had a family, and something that a lot of people were only starting out at his age. And he'd had it for so long.

It crumbled around him, and when Marco left that bar, he'd never felt more in fear of his own emotion. He had made it out of that neighbourhood and back into a different area in town. It was a well-lit, busy street. Despite being the middle of the night, he wasn't doing too bad for himself. With tears burning in his eyes, he neved noticed just how close he was to breaking. "--Why? How could you?" He was whispering to himself, his lungs inhaling sharply to try to hold the cry back. "Damn it, why?" He kicked the wall of a nearby building in an act of aggression that he just didn't normally show. Then, out of frustration, he paced to a nearby bench and collapsed onto it, head going to his hands. At that point, he choked back a sob. "Why?" Marco shook. It was the breakdown that everyone expected eventually.

[Darcy Marie Stone]

Darcy had so much on her mind. Was she beginning to have feelings for Max again? No. No. No! This couldn't be happening. She just coulddn't hurt Peter like that. She couldn't break up her family. But she was just so damn confused. Could she just ignore her feelings? Could she really? And was that even possible? She had to push those feelings towards the back of her mind.

Which is why she was out driving around. She had to forget those feelings. She just had to! She didn't want to be the type of person who would cheat, who would break up a family like that. She absolutely refused to do so.

As she drove around, Darcy thought that she reconized a familiar guy, sitting on a park bench. So, she parked her car and got out, walking over to the bench. "Marco?" She was surprised to see him here. Darcy sat down beside her best friend, putting a hand gently on his back, rubbing up down down, softly. "Are you okay?"

[Marco Del Rossi]

A familiar voice tore Marco out of his thoughts and back into the present. Despite spiralling back into reality, he couldn't stop the tears that'd plagued his brown eyes and moistened his cheeks. Even that slender frame of his kept the shuddering up. He didn't want to be seen this way. He spent a lot of effort into being strong. When the world fell down around everyone, Marco could be counted on. He was the stable, steady one with his hands prepared to catch people if they fell. Tonight, he felt weak. But, he'd felt weak for a long time. He hadn't been doing well-- And everyone was blind to it. He expected they would continue to be, because this wasn't a side of himself he wanted to show off. But, when he heard Darcy's voice, his head lifted and his eyes shot towards the female. Darcy was one of the only people he could possibly trust right now. It wasn't to denounce the rest of his friends. He loved them-- Every one of them. But, with their own overwhelming problems and the way it almost always boiled down to his own shoulder being needed more, he didn't think that he could show them just how weak he really was. Darcy, on the other hand, they had laid down the foundation to be there for each other a long time ago. She was still his best friend and somehow she often wound up the one that he confided in first.

The question registered and his first thought was to suck it up and say that he was fine. But, it didn't come. Instead, he stared at her, his sad brown eyes relaying more pain than he had shown since the separation. Slowly, he shook his head. No, he wasn't okay. He hadn't been for a long time. It started even before his relationship with Ben spiralled downward. Everything was out of control and he was too. Maybe his own slow deterioration had been the reason Ben sought out another man. Perhaps Marco wasn't good enough. Did he become distant? Did he spend too many nights on his own whiling away the hours while he couldn't sleep? He couldn't help but wonder if there was something that would have kept him.

"I'm--I'm falling apart. I can't do this-- He- I- without him, I'm no one. I don't even know what I did. I just-- Darce, I can't do this anymore." He barely knew what he was saying. His words were slurred and broken with his shaky voice. He was ranting, trying to get his thoughts out, but in his drunken, distraught state, it wasn't easy. He was on a dangerous ledge, one that Marco didn't think he'd wind up on. No, not like this. He hadn't been that close to disaster in years.

[Deleted]

Nathan had dragged Ben out of the house, insisting on getting drinks. He knew something was very, very wrong with him and his brother needed to get out. When he saw Marco, he decided that his brother also needed to talk to his husband

He pointed at Marco "go talk to him"

"noooo!" Ben whined, but his brother pushed him. Finally, Ben approached Marco and Darcy "how's it going?" he asked.

Watching, Nathan smacked his forehead my brother is an idiot

Ben looked back at Nathan who gestured for him to continue. Ben sighed "Baby....I was wrong. I've been wrong since the day I forgot that you're my better half. Before I met you, I thought I was all that. Then you came around and I realized that I wasn't. I wasn't even half of that. And now with you gone, I'm starting to remember how it feels to be without you, and since I know what it feels like to be whole, I feel like shit now. I thought Johnathan could make me happy, but he doesn't. Every night after he goes to sleep, I cry all night. I haven't slept since you left. " he pulled his ring out of his pocket "I still have my ring. Johnathan wanted me to throw it down the drain, and I almost did, but I couldn't. There is no future with him. You're my future. Everything I have is you. I live for you, and I would die for you" Tears brimmed his eyes as he got on one knee "I-I-I want to renew our vows. I don't deserve it, and I know that. I deserve to be hung, drawn, and quartered after what I did to you. But if you're amazing enough to let me make it up to you, I'll be the happiest man on earth just to be given that chance. Let me be your servant for a hundred years" he paused, but then, fearful that he would be turned away, stood up and picked Marco up "say yes, or I'll hold you hostage in my arms for a hundred years"

[Marco Del Rossi]

Then came that voice. It was a voice that he both missed and dreaded hearing at once. He recalled after the break up, he had a problem with not trying to hear it by listening to the saved voicemails on his phone. It broke his heart each and every time, but composed Marco didn't show exactly how shaky, he was. At least, not around other people. Until tonight. Red rimmed eyes gazed up at Ben, fearful to hear what he said. The first comment made his jaw clench. If he planned to casually talk to him like that, he was going to walk away. Or well, stagger-- Or something that his drunken coordination could handle. After sitting down, Marco knew that the alcohol would have time to limit him and make him forget exactly what it was like to walk.

But, apparently, that would never be a problem, because after that long speech, he felt his body lift straight from the bench. From the beginning he had already been crying, but it worsened after that. He didn't know if he was happy, relieved, or hurt even worse. "You're such--" He sniffled, trying hard to silence the crying and the shakiness that his voice had. Not to mention, there was a very obvious amount of liquor in the small man's body. "A jackass." He finally spat out, but his head automatically went to his shoulder, inhaling the familiar sent of his husband, not to mention the way he felt with his head against him. While Ben hadn't been wearing his ring, Marco's was still worn on his ring finger. He knew he should take it off, but he never managed to be able to keep from slipping it right back on. "I love you, Ben. I always have. Always. I'm--I'm nothing without you. I-- But, if you hurt me again, I swear..." He couldn't take it if he did. Marco wasn't even sure what he was doing, and he hoped that his sober friend on the bench could be of some assistance to keep him from making outrageous decisions.

[Deleted]

"Never again. I won't forget this, I promise you that. If I ever even think about it again, I'll think about how it feels to be lost without you" Seeing Marco's tears and feeling his head against his shoulder caused tears to smart in Ben's eyes as well. And not only did they smart, they streamed.

"Let's just go, please. Let's get out of here. Let's go somewhere we don't have to be like this. Let's go to the Carribean!" there was desperation in his voice. Ben was desperate to forget about all of this for now, and just go. He wanted to be someone else other than himself. Because he really didn't like himself right now

[Darcy Marie Stone]

Darcy watched as Ben came over and folded her arms. Oh no! No, no, no. She wasn't about to let Marco agree to something stupid. He was drunk! Not thinking straight. And Ben HURT him! She wasn't about to let him hurt her friend again! No way...no how. She had to intervene. She knew that.

Thinking quick, Darcy took a hold of Marco's arm and pulled him aside. "No. Marco, do not let him talk you into this. He hurt you." She looked to Ben. "And you could hurt him again." She shook her head and looked back to Marco. "I'm not gonna let you get hurt again by him."

Yeah...she knew how mean that might sound. Especially when Ben could hear every word. But she didn't care. "At least wait. Wait until your sober and think about whether you're willing to risk getting your heart broken again."