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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2013 21:39:57 GMT -8
AND THE WORLD IS SPINNING MUCH TOO FAST [/color] w e l l i c a n h a r d l y c a t c h m y b r e a t h[/font][/color] AND I JUST HOPE THAT THIS WILL LAST - - - - - - - - - -[/color][/center]
Richard looked at her. You don't know. That's what she kept saying. It seemed to him like she wanted him to know. Wanted him to understand. And she was right. He didn't know. But she didn't know that. He always did have a knack for dreaming up stories. “Actually, I do. I know exactly what you're going through. I was your age when it happened. My dad had left, and I blamed my mom for it. Gave her all kinds of hell. Anyways, one day a guy comes to the door. Home invader. And he starts saying how pretty I am. Mom steps in, tells him to leave me alone. Do what he wants with her instead. Guy rapes her in front of me, shoots her in the head, and leaves. I get the guilt.” What was a little white lie? It was for her own good! “But what I realized after months of wanting to die, was that her dying wish was that I lived. Ris, you're a kid. How you treated your mother is how most parents get treated. But I knew Emma. And I know that just like your mom, her dying wish was for you to be alive. Surely, you love her enough to honor that.”
Poor kid. She was stacking so much guilt on herself. Though, he decided that when he got home, he was going to have a talk with his own daughter, find out what's new in her life. For now, though, he needed to stay focused. What else had she mentioned? Matt-the boyfriend. The one in a wheelchair. Richard sat on the bed, pulling the crying teenager into his arms, rubbing her back. “Hey. What you did? It was brave. I've never seen such an amazing act of bavery. If I was him, I would be grateful. You would be my hero.” Now that, he wasn't lying about.
[/blockquote][/blockquote] TAGGED: Marissa WORD COUNT: 319 NOTES: LA DI DA DA DA CREDIT: sonneh @ caution 2.0
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Marissa Michelle Manning
Grade 10
Degrassi
And she's waiting patiently for the boy who's never going to come back.
Posts: 3,073
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Post by Marissa Michelle Manning on Feb 13, 2013 18:09:57 GMT -8
* CALM BEFORE THE STORM SET IT OFF [/font] a reception less than warm set it off[/i][/size] and the sun burned out ! •• • • • • • • • • • • [/center][/font]
No. He could never understand. Even if he went through the exact same thing. Nobody feels the exact same way. “It doesn't matter...” she whimpered out. Her heart was racing. It felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest. She felt like she may have a panick attack. Nothing was going right for this girl. Nobody loved her. Not anymore. And to be absolutely honest, Marissa could not blame any of them. JJ, Matt, Her parents...they had ever right to hate her. And they should. She was a terrible person. When he pulled her into a hug, though, she tried pushing away again. Her breathing started to get heavy. She shook her head, tears streaming down her face.
“C-can't...can't b-breathe...” she felt like she was going to have a heart attack. She tried to push away. Her vision started to blur and she put a hand up to her throat. This was not exactly the first time that this exact thing had happened to her within the past couple of weeks. But it always scared her. But what could she do to prevent it? Everytime she even tried to eat, well, it just really hurt. It just hurt to much. Nobody seemed to understand that. How could they?
[/blockquote] •• • • • • • • • • • • i'm roleplaying with Richard i'm wearing outfit here i've written this many words 214 i would just like to add notes here the lovely banner was made by banner credit here the lovely template was made by chi is so uncool like of caution 2.0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2013 18:16:02 GMT -8
AND THE WORLD IS SPINNING MUCH TOO FAST [/color] w e l l i c a n h a r d l y c a t c h m y b r e a t h[/font][/color] AND I JUST HOPE THAT THIS WILL LAST - - - - - - - - - -[/color][/center]
She couldn't breathe. Richard's eyes widened. Immediately, he layed her on the bed. ''Marissa?'' He shook his head. He picked up the remote and pushed the call button. ''Code blue!'' he shouted at the top of his lungs. He didn't know why they weren't running in to help? When doctors called it, that was exactly what would happen. ''Help!'' he felt a panic attack coming on. When the door did open, it wasn't who he would expect. It wasn't a doctor, or one of the nurses. And the words he heard next left him both stunned and proud. It was exactly the way it should be. It was too bad it wasn't like this all the time.
The cup-holder in his hands fell to the floor. A puddle of Coffee and juice erupted from their former containers. And at the sight of Marissa, Craig rushed to her, climbing on top of her to start cpr. He counted as he began the chest thrusts. He glared at both Michelle, who had come back with him and at Richard, he growled at them, ''Get. Out.''
Richard backed up out of the room. He watched as nurses ran in the room. He couldn't stay here. He just couldn't. It brought memories back, of nearly losing his own child. He was sure Craig didn't need him. So, instead, he pulled his cell out and dialed his daughter's number. Maybe she wouldn't mind being picked up for the rest of the day.
[/blockquote][/blockquote] TAGGED: Marissa WORD COUNT: 247 NOTES: LA DI DA DA DA CREDIT: sonneh @ caution 2.0
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Marissa Michelle Manning
Grade 10
Degrassi
And she's waiting patiently for the boy who's never going to come back.
Posts: 3,073
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Post by Marissa Michelle Manning on Feb 13, 2013 18:43:18 GMT -8
* CALM BEFORE THE STORM SET IT OFF [/font] a reception less than warm set it off[/i][/size] and the sun burned out ! •• • • • • • • • • • • [/center][/font]
Sure, Marissa had many panic attacks over the past several weeks. But this must have been the absolute worst by far. She felt like she was about to lose consciousness. She could not breath. Her hands gripped the sheets, her knuckles turning white from how tight her grip was. She wanted this to just end. She wanted her daddy. That was what she really wanted. But she was so afraid that she would just end up losing him. It took several minutes before her breathing was normal again. She felt tears stinging in her eyes. And was afraid to say a word. Felt like she was not able to speak.
Marissa whimpered out as she looked up at her daddy. Almost as if she were seeing him for the first time. Almost as though she had not noticed up until now that he was even in the room with her. Blinking, she reached up with a clammy hand, touching her daddy's cheek. She wanted to make sure that he was real. That he was not just a figment of her imagination. “D-dad-daddy?” she spoke in a weak whisper. Her voice cracked alittle. It almost hurt to much to even speak. But she needed to hear him. Hear her dad tell her that everything will be alright. Hear him tell her that he still loved her. “D-don't-don't l-leave me d-daddy.” she spoke in that same tone.
Actually, Desi loved her school. She loved everything about it. Except one thing. Snyder. She could not stand the vice-principal. No one could it seemed. Why was he even working at this school? He should not be working in any job that involved working with others. This morning, before her first class even, the damn man found her. Decided to lay into her apparently. As if the other students around her were not doing worse things than she was. No, apparently he did not like the way she dressed. And it would have just been after school detention. But no way. He of course did not like the way that she spoke to him. The attitude that she had given him. No what did he do? Gave her Saturday detention for the next two Saturdays. Great. That was just fucking great. Though what was she going to tell her father? Desi was never one to get detention. But she decided to just let it go for now and head on to class.
Her 3rd hour had just ended and Desi was actually on her way to meet some of her friends in the cafeteria. And that was when her cell phone started going off. God, she had totally forgot to put it on silent. She first looked around to make sure Snyder was not ready to pounce on her and give her another Saturday detention. And when she was sure that the coast was clear of him, she pulled out her cell. Her father? She could not help but wonder why he was calling during school hours. She hit call and put the phone to her ear. “Hey dad.”
[/blockquote] •• • • • • • • • • • • i'm roleplaying with Richard i'm wearing outfit here i've written this many words 517 i would just like to add notes here the lovely banner was made by banner credit here the lovely template was made by chi is so uncool like of caution 2.0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2013 18:56:25 GMT -8
AND THE WORLD IS SPINNING MUCH TOO FAST [/color] w e l l i c a n h a r d l y c a t c h m y b r e a t h[/font][/color] AND I JUST HOPE THAT THIS WILL LAST - - - - - - - - - -[/color][/center]
Once the hospital staff entered the room, they tried to get Craig to let them take over. He wouldn't do it. This was his daughter they were talking about. He was going to continue the chest thrusts until she was breathing. Even going so far as to breathe into her mouth. So rather than arguing, the nurse started an iv in Marissa's arm, so they could get the fluids in her that Richard had asked for. Craig wasn't paying a whole lot of attention. His entire focus was on his daughter. And when she started breathing again, tears of relief came over him. He got off of her but stayed on the bed, his legs hanging off the side.
When she touched his cheek, the tears fell freely. He couldn't help it. And when she said daddy, he put his hand over hers, swallowing so he could. ''Don't scare me like that, ok?'' but the words were not spoken harshly in the least. He looked up at the nurse putting the fluids in the IV. ''Tell Administration that I want her moved to a room with her brother.'' She was asking him not to leave. This way, he could oblige to her request. When the nurse nodded and left, his attention was back to her. ''I won't, sweetie. I'll stay right here.'' And he planned on it. Even when the cops got there, he wouldn't leave her alone for even a second.
Richard had made the kids a vow that night, when they were in the car speeding to get as far away from their mother as possible. He told them that he would always take care of them. He would never let anyone hurt them or even scare them. And to him, that meant hiding his own emotions. As their father, of course he wanted to try and make their lives as stress-free as possible. It wasn't always possible, but it was what he wanted. So he knew when he called Desiree that he wouldn't be giving her the real reason for his chosen course of action. Instead, he had an alternative version, like he always did.
He went into Father Gear as soon as he heard her. ''Punkin. Do me a favor. Meet me in the front office. I got the day off. And we haven't been able to talk in a while. Maybe we'll go somewhere, just the two of us. Anywhere you want. I'll be there in twenty minutes.'' He didn't think there was a any way she could know. There were no cracks in his voice, nothing that could serve as hints that anything was wrong. And his reason was legitamate. He did want to spend time with her. He wanted to see what was going on with her. He couldn't even remember what was going on with her the last time they did talk. Which was not a good thing.
[/blockquote][/blockquote] TAGGED: Marissa WORD COUNT: 486 NOTES: LA DI DA DA DA CREDIT: sonneh @ caution 2.0
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Marissa Michelle Manning
Grade 10
Degrassi
And she's waiting patiently for the boy who's never going to come back.
Posts: 3,073
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Post by Marissa Michelle Manning on Mar 16, 2013 23:19:24 GMT -8
Marissa did not want her daddy leaving her side. She was so scared that he hated her. And that was just something that she could not bare. She was losing so much. She had lost so much that year. Looking over, she swallowed. No. She did not want the iv. She did not want to gain any of her weight back. She wanted… No, she needed to be perfect, look perfect. For her daddy. For everyone. Before anyone could stop her, Marissa pulled the needle from her arm, dropping it to the floor. “No! Make them stay away from me, daddy!” she whimpered through her tears and looked up at him. She shook her head. “Don’t want it. I don’t need it. Tell them to leave me alone.” She cried, struggling to sit up in her bed.
It took her a moment to manage to sit up all the way. And when she did, she gently wrapped her arms around him. “Can’t I go home? The doctors are mean here, daddy. Mean to your baby girl.” She whimpered, softly. “They keep trying to force stuff on me. I don’t want anything to make me better. I feel just fine. See? Look at me. Don’t I look perfect?” she asked, in an innocent voice.
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Post by Desiree Hope Rosenburgh on Mar 17, 2013 19:10:02 GMT -8
Leave school? Early? Desi did not know whether or not she should be happy or nervous. Was there a reason that her dad was coming to get her early? Twenty minutes. Should give her plenty of time to head to the bathroom and change. “Yeah. Okay, daddy. I’ll see you when you get here.” And she hung up with him, sticking her phone inside of her pocket. She glanced down at her pink rhinestone watch, noting the time. Okay, there was not a moment to waste. She began walking, fast, in the opposite direction and stopped in front of her locker. Quickly, she opened her locker and grabbed her books and backpack, before slamming the locker closed.
Desiree walked into the nearest bathroom and checked to make sure that no one else was in there. And when she noticed that she was safe, began stripping down in just her bra and thong. She slid on her gray sweatshirt with the word ‘Cutie’ across the front in pink letters. She slipped on her blue jeans with holes in both knees. And then she put on her gray socks and black high top sneakers. Once dressed, Desi stuffed her school clothes into the bag and then grabbed a paper towel, put soap on it and wet it. And she began to scrub the make-up off of her face.
Once satisfied, Desi grabbed her books and backpack and walked casually out of the girls washroom. She took a drink from the water fountain and headed down the hallway. She opened the door to the office and walked inside, taking a seat. She looked back down at her watch. It took her 15 minutes. Her dad should be here any minute now.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2013 8:09:06 GMT -8
Craig stared at her, incredulously. Perfect? She was thin. Sickly pale. How could he have let this happen? Craig had been abused, beaten as a kid. And he had always said that he would be a better father. And it was true that he had never laid a hand on his children the way he had been hit as a kid. But looking at her, seeking his approval, he had to face it. He was just like his dad. No--he was worse. Craig could feel a catch in his throat, felt himself ready to cry. He couldn't, wouldn't cry in front of her. Not his daughter. Not his baby girl. He cringed at the thought of it. What would she think of him if he cried? Would she call him pathetic? He certainly felt it.
Craig couldn’t think. It was like he needed someone telling him what to do. But Sarah wasn't there to help him. She was off doing damage control. He had sent Rich out of the room. It was rare moments like these, when Craig was at a loss for words and desperately needed direction, that he most missed Emma. He often wondered what would have happened if she had not died. The night before, he had called her. He had four young women in bed with him, and yet he had been lonely. He called her up. And for the first time in months, they really talked. By the time they hung up, six hours later, they had agreed to meet for coffee once the dance was over. Neither of them knew what would happen, or that she would never live to hear what he wanted to say.
Craig's thoughts were cut off by a nurse. Marissa had taken out her IV. Looking down at her, he swallowed. ''I will do anything if you let them put it in, Rissy. Keep it in and you can have whatever you want. Just say the word.'' He meant it, too. He didn't think there was anything he couldn't give her. Except maybe her mom. He was Craig Manning, not God.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2013 9:55:04 GMT -8
This school made him nervous. He had no clue how Desi had talked him into leaving her there after that dance. Every time the school called, Richard went into a panic. He was scared that one day it would be either Snyder or Stone letting him know his daughter was dead. He didn't share that with her. She was a child. She needed to feel like her dad was invincible, with no weaknesses. Even if that wasn't the case. So, Rich walked silently to the office. He pushed back any thoughts of stipulation. Just because some kid was looking at him didn't mean that was the Sniper. Though, he really couldn't help it, especially when he saw punks that shoved books out of kids' hands. He shook his head and turned, approaching the office.
Richard gave the secretary a charming smile, and in no time, Des was removed for the day. Turning, he took the books so he could carry them for her. It was as he did so that he noticed the smudge on her cheek. ''Is-is that m-makeup?'' Suddenly, he felt very closed in. She was just a child! Wasn't she too young for all that? He felt the same sinking feeling that he had felt when she started her period. Rich had been as scared as she was. And when it came time for the talk, he got an anatomy book and showed her diagrams, using medical terminology and pointing to the diagrams. He thought it was a good way of handling it. But this--he had no idea how to handle this.
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Marissa Michelle Manning
Grade 10
Degrassi
And she's waiting patiently for the boy who's never going to come back.
Posts: 3,073
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Post by Marissa Michelle Manning on Apr 21, 2013 10:01:18 GMT -8
Marissa didn’t want it back in. She couldn’t. No one understood how much pressure Craig’s fame placed upon his own daughter, his baby girl. She did not want to embarrass her daddy. She did not want him receiving bad publicity just because his kid could not control herself. No one understood. No one could ever possibly understand. Not even her daddy. Had to be perfect. For her dad. His fans. And yes, her boyfriend as well. Marissa hated herself. She hated who she had become. She hated her personality, her looks. She hated everything about herself. She seemed to be pushing everyone away. Even her little brother. She loved him so much. He was the only one in the damn family who had not disappointed her in one way or another. And look how she was treating him?
It was for his own good, Marissa would constantly tell herself. He was family, her baby brother. She did not think she could handle being rejected by him as well. And she made herself believe that little Craig had every right to hate her. It was her own fault that he would now grow up without a mother. He was only thirteen years old. He deserved both a mother and a father. It was not fair. It was not fair to the thirteen year old. Marissa blamed herself for that. If only she could talk to him, let him know the truth. But she was fifteen. She was two years older. He did not need the burden of her own troubles. He was just a kid. Just a child. He did not deserve any of this. It wasn’t fair to him.
Marissa looked up at her daddy with her bright blue eyes wide and innocent. She would not agree to this. She was not a child anymore. She should not have to do anything that she did not want to do. Well, that was what she believed anyhow. She looked back over to the nurse, a whimper escaping from her lips. And then she quickly folded her arms and shook her head. “Nuh-uh.” She spoke, pouting. No, she did not believe him. Marissa was sure that if she did what HE wanted then he would leave her again. She was not about to let that happen. As long as he was worried then he wouldn’t leave her side, right? She folded her arms across her chest so they could not put the iv back in. “Tell her go away…” she whispered. “I’m fine. I don’t need anything from these stupid people.”
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Post by Desiree Hope Rosenburgh on Jun 30, 2013 22:55:35 GMT -8
Desiree did not know how to talk to her dad about these things. He just did not understand what it was like to be a teenage girl in high school. No matter how hard he DID try and understand. He just couldn’t. This was when she really wished that her mother was still around. Sure, maybe the teen did not remember anything about the woman. But she painted this pretty picture in her head of her mother. And she did not want to let that image go, either. She was sure that her mother would come back for her, to be her mother again. She prayed for that every night. Though, she never told anyone that. Not even her dad. How could he possibly handle this? When it came time for the talk and when she started her period…it was completely awkward for the girl. And the entire time, she just wanted it to be over. She was a kid then. She was scared and confused. She never had a mother to explain these things to her.
Walking out of the school, Desi headed towards the car, not making eye contact with her dad. “Dad, it’s just make-up. I’m a teenage girl, not a baby. All girls my age wear it. It’s not a big deal. Okay?” She wiped her cheek and looked over at her dad. “End of conversation, dad.” She spoke, as she opened the passenger door. “Why are you picking me up from school early, anyway?”
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Post by Deleted on Jul 1, 2013 8:37:06 GMT -8
Maybe he had gone about this the wrong way. After all, she seemed to think that she was calling the shots. He was going to have to give her a dose of reality. He gestured for the nurse to come around to the other side. And as Marissa crossed her arms, he acted quickly.
Grabbing her elbows, he pulled her down onto her stomach and used his weight to pin her down. "Just so you know, it wouldn't hurt as much if you had cooperated." As he spoke, the nurse inserted the iv into her spine, in a position where she could not take it out herself. Spinal taps hurt like hell, but Craig reminded himself that it was for her own good.
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