Post by Marissa Michelle Manning on Jun 4, 2010 20:37:22 GMT -8
Relapse. It was a common word for recovering anorexics. However, Marissa would have never expected herself to relapse back into anorexia. It should have been in the pasr, right? But the first time that Marissa had become anorexic, she'd been with JJ. She didn't even think that Matt knew about her problem. Or that she had been attending Group. Marissa hadn't ever told him. She didn't need him to worry about her also. But Marissa hadn't gone to Group in month's. it was easy to stop going, though. With her dad moved out, he didn't keep track of it. And her mom tended to work at the school late. And Scott? Well, he rarely went to Group himself. But hadn't Marissa's problem been more serious than Scott's problem? When Marissa had begun dating Matt, she just sort of stopped going. She had just wanted to start all over, to pretend that none of that had ever happened. Which is why she'd never told Matt about it.
But lately, her life had been complete and total chaos. And Marissa just couldn't handle it all. She'd begun to feel so-out of control of her life.Getting beat up, going to jail, being forbidden to see Matt anymore-she just wanted control of her life again. That was all. She'd always been daddy's baby girl. Where was that girl? Where was the girl that would always go to church, who believed in abstinence and in God? She so desperately wanted that girl back! Not this girl! A girl who was no longer a virgin. A girl who believed that she had HIV. A girl who got into fights or made death threats. A girl who would get thrown in jail or defie her father. Who was this girl anyway? And there was quite a few things Marissa never told Matt about. Like how she had anorexia earlier this year or how she was worried right now that she may have HIV. It's ot like she didn't want to tell Matt. She wasn't even scared to tell him. Marissa was scared to admit it to herself. She was afraid of becoming anorexic again. She was afraid that she might have HIV. Maybe if she didn't admit it, even to herself, then it may just all be a dream. Right?
The bell to end 3rd hour had run, and Marissa decided not to go to lunch. With her and Matt brokenup, she just couldn't face being around him more. The halls emptied and she just roamed the empty halls. She
didn't want to go to lunch. Seeing any food just disgusted her. It had been several weeks since she really ate anything. So when Marissa headed towards the caf, she felt extremely dizzy and put a hand on the wall. This was definetely not a good sign. Marissa felt as though she was about to have a panick attack. It wouldn't have been the first time in the last couple of weeks. But then she'd callapsed to the floor, unconscious, her breathing stopped.
This girl definetely needed help. Now! She needed to get to the hospital...before it was too late.
----------------
Matt didn't feel much like eating today. As a matter of fact, he didn't feel like being at school. This would make the fifth day in a row that he ditched. He knew that if he ditched much more, he could end up in Mrs.
Stone's office. And that was one place he'd never been to before. A few times he got suspended for fighting Brandon, and then JJ. He was never actually sent to the office. Instead he was forced to sit outside until his
dad got there. And he wasn't use to the whole sitting in the principal's office, being in trouble thing. Actually, he got along pretty well with Mrs. Stone. And as much as he knew that he should be trying to avoid getting into trouble, he really didn't care. Ever since the break up with Marissa, he'd been heartbroken. It felt like he wouldn't be able to concentrate in class anyway. He was headed for the exit door, when he saw Marissa. He stopped in his tracks as he looked at her. "Marissa???" His tone was scared. He rushed over to her and picked up her head. "No, no, no, no." he whimpered out as he tried to listen to her breathing. Starting to panic, he screamed out, "Somebody call 911!"
---------------------
Gracie hadn't been in the cafeteria. No, instead she'd been in the library researching for a paper she was writing for her history class. As she headed to the cafeteria, though, she heard Matt. So, rushing over, she
looked down at Matt. "Is-is she breathing?" Gracie asked, softly, as she pulled out her cell phone and dialed 911. "Hello?...I'm at Degrassi. There's this girl-She's lying on the floor. I don't think she's breathing."
Gracie knelt down beside Matt and Marissa. "We need an ambulance...okay..." She kept the phone to her ear, and looked to Matt. "An ambulance is on their way. I'm sure that she'll be fine."
------------------------
Matt shook his head. "No, she's not breathing!" he snapped at her. Closing his eyes, he stroked her hair. "Please, Marissa. Please wake up." Tears brimmed his eyes. "You can't die. We haven't made up yet.
We're suppose to make up. If you die, I'll never have the chance to tell you I'm sorry." He was ready to break down. He just didn't think he could survive without her.
------------------
"She'll be okay, Matt. Everything will be okay." Gracie tried to comfort him. She then began hearing sirens. "I'll be right back." She walked outside, as the paramedics pulled up. She then led them to where Marissa was at.
-------------------
Matt sniffed and looked up at his aunt. "She doesn't look like she's gonna be okay to me." When the paramedics came in, he stood up and backed away. "Be careful with her." he warned them. "She's my girl-
she means a lot to me." With that, he looked down and fought off tears as they were helping her.
-----------------
"She's not breathing!" The paramedic called out. "Paddles!" He opened her shirt and put the paddles to her skin. "Still not breathing! Again!" He pressed it again. On the third try, she started breathing again. "She's
back!" He then got her onto the stretcher.
------------------
Matt couldn't stand there and watch. He turned around and shakily pulled out a cigarette. He didn't even get to light it before he was scolded by a teacher. He then decided to turn a near by locker into a punching bag, kicking it repeatedly, until he heard the paramedics getting ready to leave. Slamming his fist into a locker door, he turned back around. "I'm coming too."
--------------------
The paramedic looked up at Matt and nodded. He pushed the stretcher outside, putting the girl in the ambulance. He climbed in, waiting for Matt to get in, while the other guy behind the wheel.
---------------------
Matt started to get in, then stopped. He got back out and grabbed Gracie's hand and said, "Don't even think you're staying here. Get in." He needed somebody there, other than Marissa. And while he had been
hesitant to get acquinted with his aunt, he was all for it now. When he spoke to her, he wasn't being demanding or controling. His voice was pleading with her. As tears fell from his eyes, and he even cracked a little bit.
------------------------
Gracie was about to go back into the school when Matt took a hold of her hand. She looked back at him and nodded. "Alright. I'll come." And with that, she climbed inside. Gracie looked to Matt for a second,
before looking down at the girl on the stretcher. She looked so peaceful and defenseless. She stayed quiet, not knowing what she could possibly say.
---------------------
Matt looked down at Marissa. "Pease don't die." he whimpered.
-------------------
Marissa let out a groan and moved her head just a little. She wanted to say something or to open her eyes, but she just felt to weak to do so.
Gracie looked down at the young girl and took ahold of her hand gently. "She looks so fragile and way too thin." she whispered, being observant.
-------------------
Matt glared. "You would too, so shut up." he said, defensive of her.
-----------------
Gracie looked at him, as the ambulance pulled to the hospital. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."
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Matt shook his head. "This is my fault."
----------------------
"Why would you blame yourself? This is no one's fault."
-------------------------
"I didn't pay enough attention. I should have caught it."
----------------
Gracie sighed. "I don't think you could have stopped it, though."
The paramedic opened the back door and pulled the stretcher out, heading into the hospital.
----------------
Matt sighed and ignored her as he got out of the ambulance. "Where are you taking her?"
--------------------
"To ICU." he answered, heading down the hall. "Sorry, son, you can't go."
--------------------
"But I have to. I-I need to be with her. I'm her boyfriend."
------------------
"I'm sorry, kid. But I can't allow you. It's against the rules."
-----------------
Matt sighed and nodded, sitting down.
------------------
Gracie sat down beside Matt, but didn't say a word.
Marissa was taken into the ICU and set up on machines and stuff.
----------------
Matt looked at Gracie. "You act at all?" he whispered.
------------------
Gracie looked to Matt and nodded. "I use to act in the lead at my old school. Why do you ask?"
-------------------
"Good. Faint." he said and attempted to push her off the seat.
---------------
When Matt pushed her off the seat, Gracie got to her feet. Making sure to look weak and unstable, she took a few steps forward, before fainting.
---------------
"Oh my god! She fainted!" he yelled and as the medical assisstants and nurses rushed to her, he slipped past and through the double doors.
---------------
Gracie acted as though she was just coming to once Matt was through the doors. She slowly opened her eyes, carefully sitting up, not saying anything just yet. "W-what h-happened?" she stuttered out, acting as
though she was confused.
-----------------
Matt found a robe set out for the father of a new baby, along with the mask. He put them on so he wouldn't get caught and started looking for his girlfriend.
------------------
Marissa was in a room not far from where Matt was. She groaned and slowly opened her eyes, but quickly shut them again because of the bright light. After a few moments, she opened her eyes again, not sure
where she was at. Everything was a blur. She didn't remember anything right before she fainted.
------------------
Matt spotted her and opened the door. "Marissa!"
----------------
Marissa looked over to Matt, her eyes glistening with tears. "M-M-Matt?" she stuttered out, weakly. She tried to sit up, but she felt to weak. "I-How did I get here? W-What happened?" she asked, a bit confused.
--------------------
"No, don't get up. You fainted at school. Marissa, what's going on? You've never had a weight problem."
---------------------
Marissa looked to the window, determined to avoid eye contact. "I would have told you." she whispered. "About-about my anorexia. But then we became a couple and I didn't want you to worry. It happened when I was with JJ. I don't even know what triggered it. Maybe-maybe because I felt the need to be perfect. I never meant to relapse." She shook her head. "I never meant to disappoint you, to disappoint anyone." she spoke in a weak voice.
But lately, her life had been complete and total chaos. And Marissa just couldn't handle it all. She'd begun to feel so-out of control of her life.Getting beat up, going to jail, being forbidden to see Matt anymore-she just wanted control of her life again. That was all. She'd always been daddy's baby girl. Where was that girl? Where was the girl that would always go to church, who believed in abstinence and in God? She so desperately wanted that girl back! Not this girl! A girl who was no longer a virgin. A girl who believed that she had HIV. A girl who got into fights or made death threats. A girl who would get thrown in jail or defie her father. Who was this girl anyway? And there was quite a few things Marissa never told Matt about. Like how she had anorexia earlier this year or how she was worried right now that she may have HIV. It's ot like she didn't want to tell Matt. She wasn't even scared to tell him. Marissa was scared to admit it to herself. She was afraid of becoming anorexic again. She was afraid that she might have HIV. Maybe if she didn't admit it, even to herself, then it may just all be a dream. Right?
The bell to end 3rd hour had run, and Marissa decided not to go to lunch. With her and Matt brokenup, she just couldn't face being around him more. The halls emptied and she just roamed the empty halls. She
didn't want to go to lunch. Seeing any food just disgusted her. It had been several weeks since she really ate anything. So when Marissa headed towards the caf, she felt extremely dizzy and put a hand on the wall. This was definetely not a good sign. Marissa felt as though she was about to have a panick attack. It wouldn't have been the first time in the last couple of weeks. But then she'd callapsed to the floor, unconscious, her breathing stopped.
This girl definetely needed help. Now! She needed to get to the hospital...before it was too late.
----------------
Matt didn't feel much like eating today. As a matter of fact, he didn't feel like being at school. This would make the fifth day in a row that he ditched. He knew that if he ditched much more, he could end up in Mrs.
Stone's office. And that was one place he'd never been to before. A few times he got suspended for fighting Brandon, and then JJ. He was never actually sent to the office. Instead he was forced to sit outside until his
dad got there. And he wasn't use to the whole sitting in the principal's office, being in trouble thing. Actually, he got along pretty well with Mrs. Stone. And as much as he knew that he should be trying to avoid getting into trouble, he really didn't care. Ever since the break up with Marissa, he'd been heartbroken. It felt like he wouldn't be able to concentrate in class anyway. He was headed for the exit door, when he saw Marissa. He stopped in his tracks as he looked at her. "Marissa???" His tone was scared. He rushed over to her and picked up her head. "No, no, no, no." he whimpered out as he tried to listen to her breathing. Starting to panic, he screamed out, "Somebody call 911!"
---------------------
Gracie hadn't been in the cafeteria. No, instead she'd been in the library researching for a paper she was writing for her history class. As she headed to the cafeteria, though, she heard Matt. So, rushing over, she
looked down at Matt. "Is-is she breathing?" Gracie asked, softly, as she pulled out her cell phone and dialed 911. "Hello?...I'm at Degrassi. There's this girl-She's lying on the floor. I don't think she's breathing."
Gracie knelt down beside Matt and Marissa. "We need an ambulance...okay..." She kept the phone to her ear, and looked to Matt. "An ambulance is on their way. I'm sure that she'll be fine."
------------------------
Matt shook his head. "No, she's not breathing!" he snapped at her. Closing his eyes, he stroked her hair. "Please, Marissa. Please wake up." Tears brimmed his eyes. "You can't die. We haven't made up yet.
We're suppose to make up. If you die, I'll never have the chance to tell you I'm sorry." He was ready to break down. He just didn't think he could survive without her.
------------------
"She'll be okay, Matt. Everything will be okay." Gracie tried to comfort him. She then began hearing sirens. "I'll be right back." She walked outside, as the paramedics pulled up. She then led them to where Marissa was at.
-------------------
Matt sniffed and looked up at his aunt. "She doesn't look like she's gonna be okay to me." When the paramedics came in, he stood up and backed away. "Be careful with her." he warned them. "She's my girl-
she means a lot to me." With that, he looked down and fought off tears as they were helping her.
-----------------
"She's not breathing!" The paramedic called out. "Paddles!" He opened her shirt and put the paddles to her skin. "Still not breathing! Again!" He pressed it again. On the third try, she started breathing again. "She's
back!" He then got her onto the stretcher.
------------------
Matt couldn't stand there and watch. He turned around and shakily pulled out a cigarette. He didn't even get to light it before he was scolded by a teacher. He then decided to turn a near by locker into a punching bag, kicking it repeatedly, until he heard the paramedics getting ready to leave. Slamming his fist into a locker door, he turned back around. "I'm coming too."
--------------------
The paramedic looked up at Matt and nodded. He pushed the stretcher outside, putting the girl in the ambulance. He climbed in, waiting for Matt to get in, while the other guy behind the wheel.
---------------------
Matt started to get in, then stopped. He got back out and grabbed Gracie's hand and said, "Don't even think you're staying here. Get in." He needed somebody there, other than Marissa. And while he had been
hesitant to get acquinted with his aunt, he was all for it now. When he spoke to her, he wasn't being demanding or controling. His voice was pleading with her. As tears fell from his eyes, and he even cracked a little bit.
------------------------
Gracie was about to go back into the school when Matt took a hold of her hand. She looked back at him and nodded. "Alright. I'll come." And with that, she climbed inside. Gracie looked to Matt for a second,
before looking down at the girl on the stretcher. She looked so peaceful and defenseless. She stayed quiet, not knowing what she could possibly say.
---------------------
Matt looked down at Marissa. "Pease don't die." he whimpered.
-------------------
Marissa let out a groan and moved her head just a little. She wanted to say something or to open her eyes, but she just felt to weak to do so.
Gracie looked down at the young girl and took ahold of her hand gently. "She looks so fragile and way too thin." she whispered, being observant.
-------------------
Matt glared. "You would too, so shut up." he said, defensive of her.
-----------------
Gracie looked at him, as the ambulance pulled to the hospital. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."
---------------------
Matt shook his head. "This is my fault."
----------------------
"Why would you blame yourself? This is no one's fault."
-------------------------
"I didn't pay enough attention. I should have caught it."
----------------
Gracie sighed. "I don't think you could have stopped it, though."
The paramedic opened the back door and pulled the stretcher out, heading into the hospital.
----------------
Matt sighed and ignored her as he got out of the ambulance. "Where are you taking her?"
--------------------
"To ICU." he answered, heading down the hall. "Sorry, son, you can't go."
--------------------
"But I have to. I-I need to be with her. I'm her boyfriend."
------------------
"I'm sorry, kid. But I can't allow you. It's against the rules."
-----------------
Matt sighed and nodded, sitting down.
------------------
Gracie sat down beside Matt, but didn't say a word.
Marissa was taken into the ICU and set up on machines and stuff.
----------------
Matt looked at Gracie. "You act at all?" he whispered.
------------------
Gracie looked to Matt and nodded. "I use to act in the lead at my old school. Why do you ask?"
-------------------
"Good. Faint." he said and attempted to push her off the seat.
---------------
When Matt pushed her off the seat, Gracie got to her feet. Making sure to look weak and unstable, she took a few steps forward, before fainting.
---------------
"Oh my god! She fainted!" he yelled and as the medical assisstants and nurses rushed to her, he slipped past and through the double doors.
---------------
Gracie acted as though she was just coming to once Matt was through the doors. She slowly opened her eyes, carefully sitting up, not saying anything just yet. "W-what h-happened?" she stuttered out, acting as
though she was confused.
-----------------
Matt found a robe set out for the father of a new baby, along with the mask. He put them on so he wouldn't get caught and started looking for his girlfriend.
------------------
Marissa was in a room not far from where Matt was. She groaned and slowly opened her eyes, but quickly shut them again because of the bright light. After a few moments, she opened her eyes again, not sure
where she was at. Everything was a blur. She didn't remember anything right before she fainted.
------------------
Matt spotted her and opened the door. "Marissa!"
----------------
Marissa looked over to Matt, her eyes glistening with tears. "M-M-Matt?" she stuttered out, weakly. She tried to sit up, but she felt to weak. "I-How did I get here? W-What happened?" she asked, a bit confused.
--------------------
"No, don't get up. You fainted at school. Marissa, what's going on? You've never had a weight problem."
---------------------
Marissa looked to the window, determined to avoid eye contact. "I would have told you." she whispered. "About-about my anorexia. But then we became a couple and I didn't want you to worry. It happened when I was with JJ. I don't even know what triggered it. Maybe-maybe because I felt the need to be perfect. I never meant to relapse." She shook her head. "I never meant to disappoint you, to disappoint anyone." she spoke in a weak voice.
