|
|
Post by Jessica McKinley Carpenter on May 1, 2010 3:51:45 GMT -8
It had been 2 weeks since the incident. That was how long she'd spent in the hospital. How was she still aline? Was she even alive? Jesse wasn't the same girl she was. Before, sure she was a delinquint, a loner. But things were different. Before she would have caused the pain and suffering. She'd even raped JJ Yorke, because Matt Del Rossi had payed her a hundred bucks.
But what about now? Jessica had become more distant. Kate had taken the young 15 year old juvinile delinquint, high school drop out in. She was mean, sarcastic, judgemental...the list went on and on. But, even though she hadn't admitted it to anyone, Jessica was actually beginning to trust Kate. That was a first for her. She'd never trusted anyone. Not since she was 5-years-old when her own mother tried to kill her, stabbed her in the chest with a knife.
That experience had been traumatic. That was what had shaped the girl she'd becomed. And now, with almost being killed by Jack Baseley (or Austin as he told her: she didn't even know the dude's real name), she'd taken an even bigger change in her life. Now, she grew even more distant from the woman that was willing to take her in. She started stealing more than ever. Whenever a cop or someone would touch her, she'd start screaming as though they were about to kill her.
What was she gonna do? How could she trust anyone in this Hell that she called life? In truth, Jessica wasn't even sure if she wanted to live now. She hated her pathetic life. But she wasn't the type of girl to just off herself. A few days ago, she did try to walk in the middle of the street, acting as though she wasn't paying attention, hoping a car would hit her. And a car almost did hit her, but some older guy pushed her out of the way just in time. Of course, the car crashed into some telephone pole, however.
It was late, about 10 o'clock at night, and Jessica left the house. She didn't care that she had a curfew. When did Jessica ever care, after all? She walked into the park, just thinking. Where was her life going? Who would ever wanna care about a girl like her. God! What was wrong with her?! She never thought about crap like that before she was almost killed. She sat down on the bench, shuffling her feet on the ground.
|
|
|
|
Post by Audrey Yorke on May 16, 2010 18:36:36 GMT -8
"All right, Mr. Baggins, I've got you." Audrey lifted the fluffy brown and white animal into her arms, feeling it's clipped claws cling to the fabric of her leather coat, and it's head rest down on her shoulder. To her, when he did that, it looked like he was pouting. He was about the size of a small dog, bigger than some tiny canines, in fact. She ran her hand through the white fluffy fur; most of him was white anyhow. He was accented by a brown stripe down his back, a mask and his legs too were brown, but that was all. Mr. Baggins... Or Frodo, was a skunk. She'd had him for several weeks, but he was already full grown. She hadn't gotten him as a baby, after all. Still young though, and trainable. He had known how to walk on a leash when she inherited him...And he kind of pulled her through. Audrey barely slept any more. It was hard at night, she'd wake up in a cold sweat and the nightmares while hard to recall stunned her. She couldn't subject herself to that and found sleep was more peaceful during the day when she had the sun shining through her window onto her face and she could hear Frodo chirping and hissing while he pushed his toys around. Yeah, that was when she slept the best. Not at night, and not while she was walking the skunk through the park. But, tired of walking, the skunk had tried to climb up her leg, so she lifted him up. Sighing, she kind of wanted to sit down too.
The only bench around was occupied, but she walked over anyway. The girl didn't look too intimidating. Audrey was okay with just walking up to people. Even now after she nearly met death head on, she wasn't scared of anyone. She refused to be. Audrey Yorke was stronger than that. Slowly sitting down on the bench, she smoothed her ruffled dark skirt and scuffed her combat boots against the ground. "Hope you don't mind, kind of tired of walking," She explained, prying the skunk off of her shoulder and put him on her lap instead. Immediately, he was trying to walk away from her and onto the bench. She tried to keep him close though, not wanting him to startle or climb on the girl. "I'm Audrey, by the way." She chewed down on her lower lip, hoping that the girl wasn't going to be annoyed with the random greeting. Some people didn't appreciate it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jessica McKinley Carpenter on May 16, 2010 19:02:10 GMT -8
Jesse really wasn't one to be social. With anyone. And she probably would have made some smart ass remark. Or, she would have, before she was almost killed. She was used to death, to bad things happening to her. When she was just 5 years old, her mother stabbed her in the chest, in an attempt to kill her. She still had that scar, too. And she made sure that it was always hidden. She didn't want questions. She hated questions about her past.
When she was 9 years old, she'd killed a kid. But the police wouldn't believe her when she'd tried to say that it was only in self defense. Then in her last foster home, several months ago, she'd stabbed a boy for teasing her and was placed in Juvie.
But, no. No...This was different. This caused her to be scared, to have nightmares. Something that hadn't happened to her since her mother tried to kill her. Snd with this guy, it brought back all those memories. What was she doing? She wasn't the type to have fear. Not like this.
When the girl sat down and spoke up, Jesse didn't bother looking to the girl. Little did she know that this girl had gone through the same sort of torture and by the same guy, none-the-less. Instead, she shrugged. Did she mind? Not really. When Audrey said her name, she shuffled her feet and mumbled back her on introduction. "Jessica." She looked down at the ground. "But I prefer being called Jesse."
|
|
|
|
Post by Audrey Yorke on May 16, 2010 19:58:54 GMT -8
"Jesse, cool." Audrey said, removing her hands from the animal to grab a band around her wrist. Her hair kept falling in her face, and because she didn't want to keep glancing over through a wall of dark hair, she decided to tie it back. Quickly pulling the mane back, she tied it with the band, her finger skimming over the round scar behind her ear. She noticed it an awful lot. It had become a compulsion of hers, to touch it idly. It was a reminder of what happened and a very physical one. There were other marks and scars, but that was the one she could touch all the time. It was there when she put on her make up, when she did her hair... All of it. It was right in front of her. She could hide the other scars and not look at herself when she put her clothes on. But that one she brushed over all the time and somehow it was more poignant. It was a mark. As soon as she let go of the animal, however, he was crawling off her lap and towards Jesse, sniffing at her. The leash was still wrapped around Audrey's wrist so she wasn't worried about him jumping off to take off.
"Sorry, he likes to sniff things. He doesn't bite though." She said gently, in case the girl didn't like having the animal try to sniff at her. Audrey pulled him back slightly, not wanting him to climb on her. There was something rude about letting an animal walk all over a person when one, they might hate animals, or two they were scared of them. Hey, even allergies could be a problem.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jessica McKinley Carpenter on May 16, 2010 20:22:23 GMT -8
When the animal grew closer to her, she couldn't help but slid over a little. It wasn't that she was scared of them or that she hated animals. Really, she just wasn't use to being around them. She nodded as the girl said the animal wouldn't bite and quickly turned her attention straight ahead. She didn't know why she'd come out this late even. She just needed out for awhile.
She looked towards Audrey for the first time, noticing the scar. It looked so familiar. It looked exactly like hers. Exactly like the one he gave her. "A scar...." she whispered, shaking her head and looking away. "You too?" She pulled up her long hair and turned sideways, showing her the same scar behind her own ear.
|
|
|
|
Post by Audrey Yorke on May 22, 2010 21:48:34 GMT -8
Noticing the slight evade from the animal, Audrey pulled him back politely and sat him on her other side. Though, in typical animal rebellion, he crawled back over her lap. There was no real controlling the creature. And control... Well, control was a funny topic lately. Audrey never had to relinquish control before, but she never craved it either. Most little kids like to control certain aspects of their life, even as they became teenagers, and she figured that she did like having some of it. She revealed it in her style of dress, in her independent attitude and in some cases her disregard for rules that she thought were petty (and they often were). The dark haired girl didn't go out of her way to break rules. In fact, she tried to be cautious when necessary and wouldn't do anything to harm herself, others, or to upset someone. It wasn't in her nature. But, for the first time in her life, she felt like control was out of her grasp more. She never even knew she gripped onto it and now it was pried out of her hands and while she stayed calm, collected and adapted, the young woman was still grasping pointlessly. It had been torn away from her. She took comfort in being alive, in having her friends, her family and knowing that there was still time for her to mend. The physical wounds were disappearing into scars, and the mental ones would take longer, but they would eventually fade. One morning, she'd wake up and it wouldn't be three in the morning and she wouldn't be soaked in sweat. At least she wasn't vocal. Someone would have picked up on that. But dreams were normal. Dreams had to be dealt with, even if it meant staying up long hours to keep them at bay. Audrey Yorke was getting better. She thought—she hoped.
The girl's whisper caught her off guard. Instinctively her fingertips brushed her own scar again. It was a modest gesture, but as she questioned and removed her own hair, Audrey's eyes widened. "You... He got you too." Her voice dropped, the shock in it. It was such a coincidence and almost overwhelming. "I—I knew there were others. I just thought... they were all dead." After all, she saw a corpse the night she was there. It made her sick to remember it, moreso than it had at the time. When she looked back (and she hated to do it), she thought she handled it okay. To be out right now was an ode to that. How many people went through that ordeal and ended up in a dark park? The shadows were a bit creepy and you never knew what was lurking. The train of thought made her shudder, and she crossed it off the list of thoughts she should be assessing. But, apparently, it wasn't so odd... Because, if Jesse had experienced what she had and she was there too then maybe she was adjusting the same as anyone else. It was a weird connection, but in a way, she felt a little relieved that she wasn't alone and that maybe someone out there might share her pain. Sure, she could find some lame support group of survivors of trauma, but it wasn't as close... This—this was dead on.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jessica McKinley Carpenter on May 22, 2010 22:13:32 GMT -8
Jesse let her hair drop back down around her shoulders and looked down at the ground. Yeah, he'd gotten her too. And she remembered that night. Remembered how she was begging for death. Begging. That was so not her. But she was scared. More scared than she'd ever felt her entire life. She remembered back to when she was 5 and her mother tried to kill her but that experience didn't even come close to what she'd experienced that night. She just wasn't use to feeling so scared, so vulnerable. That wasn't the type of girl she was. What Juvinile delinquint was that way after all?
Jessica was so confused. She was so lost. She'd never really had friends. But now she was even more distant from others than ever before. She was slowly learning that maybe it was impossible to trust people. Not that she ever actually trusted well anyway. I mean, how could you when you couldn't trust your own mother? Right?
This past week, she'd had these awful nightmares. She'd even woken up and could have sworn he was in her room. But realized that she was just being paranoid.
Jesse looked down, placing a hand on her stomach where she still had her stitches. Stitches because the guy who did this decided to do a little operation and removed her appendix. She remembered that night, remembered how when she tried to get up, begging for death, how he''d stuck his hand into her stomach and squeezed a vein, telling her to lay back down. Just the thought of it made her wince in pain. "Yeah." she whispered. "He got me too." She shook her head. "I was so stupid. I shouldn't have left with him."
|
|
|
|
Post by Audrey Yorke on May 22, 2010 22:25:47 GMT -8
She left with him too.
Audrey wondered half of the time whether or not it was her own fault or if she couldn't have avoided it the whole time. Everything could be avoided one way or another, right? She was a little reckless and trusted wolfboy ridiculously. And to hear that another girl did the same made her assume that that was kind of his raison d'etre, to lure girls away, gain their trust and then ruthlessly torture the hell out of them. God, it was like every horror movie she ever watched and every stupid Tru Crime documentary every produced. He wasn't even special. She could have called it if it was playing out on a screen in front of her. And she cursed herself for that. As much as she tried not to blame herself, because if control was out of her hands then who was she to blame, she couldn't completely. It was a contradiction that waged war on her mind day in and day out. She wouldn't have peace from it either. The brunette stared down at her lap, down at the dark ruffles of her skirt and the red leash sitting atop it that belonged to the oblivious skunk. She didn't answer Jessica for a series of seconds, swallowing to capture her thoughts and to vocally produce again.
"I left with him. Willing. Didn't think twice really," she explained crossing her legs at the ankle, her booted foot bobbing slightly. "Do you really think it's our fault?" The question wasn't rhetorical or even in disbelief. It was completely honest and she genuinely sounded scared. Talking about what happened opened her up. It was like a wave of vulnerability slammed into her and knocked her off of whatever pedestal she was haphazardly balancing on. It took away the strength she gave herself, but something inside of her needed that. She needed to take a dive off of it and maybe hit bottom. And what could potentially keep her from hitting any level of concrete was the girl beside her. Talking to her... Hearing that maybe she wasn't alone and that if she was purely screwed up that someone else was too. It was horrible when she thought of it like that! She would never in a million years wish what happened to her on anyone. But, she couldn't stop it. And even after it happened, Audrey knew there would probably be more. The sick bastard got off on it. God, he got off on it. It sickened her worse than anything ever could or maybe even would. She lost a lot that night, mentally, physically... It was too much to keep her brain on, but it had a way of ticking on without her.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jessica McKinley Carpenter on May 22, 2010 22:45:04 GMT -8
Was it her fault? Audrey's fault? It was hard to say. Sure, any stupid counselor would go on and on about how they weren't to blame, that they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But Jesse knew better. Okay, so maybe she knew somewhere deep down that it wasn't her own fault. But...wasn't it? After all, she left with a guy who she didn't even know. She could have just stayed where they were at. If she had, then this wouldn't have ever happened. Right? She thought so.
Our fault. Jesse shook her head. "I-I don't know. I feel like it's my fault. I wonder what would have happened if I just stayed where I was. In a big crowd." She looked up at the sky, and bit her lip. "It's stupid. I feel like I shouldn't feel this way...blaming myself. But I can't help it." She shook her head. "This isn't who I am. I shouldn't be scared of anything. I don't go blaming myself for others idiocy."
|
|
