Marissa Michelle Manning
Grade 10
Degrassi
And she's waiting patiently for the boy who's never going to come back.
Posts: 3,073
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Post by Marissa Michelle Manning on Mar 2, 2013 13:53:54 GMT -8
No one knew about the nightmares that she was having. From the dance, the night with Jonathon. She was saddling herself with so much guilt. She was hardly able to sleep anymore. She was maybe getting three or four hours of sleep a night. She would wake up in the middle of the night, screaming. Her body shaking and sweating. No one would come to see if she was alright either. Her father was probably out, working late. As always. She had nobody home that even cared about her. Or worried about her. She would often spend time completely alone in her room in the middle of the night when she could not sleep. She would turn up her music and sit on her bed, drinking, getting drunk. It wasn't like anyone would notice, after all. For weeks now. She would drink almost every night. No one noticed her pain. And I they did, then they just did not care enough to approach Marissa. Even at school, she had begun skipping classes. She would head up to the roof and pull out the bottle from her bag. And sit there, getting drunk. And Marissa did not care if she got caught either. It never mattered. A part of her wanted to be caught, wanted to be kicked out of school. What was wrong with her? What had happened? She used to love school so much. Now she wanted nothing more to do with her classes or anything about school for that matter. Marissa no longer cared if she lived or if she died. In her mind, Marissa knew that she deserved to die. Matt, her mom, sister... Everything was her fault and no one else's.
She hadn't eaten in the past week alone. Only a cracker here and there. She was drinking water for the most part. She was losing more wait, looking worse off. But Marissa did not care about herself anymore. And she wanted to die. She had sent a text to Matt saying that she deserved punishment, that she felt so guilty and that she owes him everything. That she would do anything he wanted with no arguments. She knew that he was probably avoiding her and she was sure that he blamed her for the loss of his legs. Hell, he had to. She blamed herself. She was becoming depressed and suicidal. Though, she had not tried to kill herself. Yet, at least.
The teen was also cutting herself more, even using a lighter to burn her own skin. Her dad never even noticed. Noticed her change in appearance, her scars. Never noticed how fragile she looked or how much wait she had lost. Never even noticed when she would come in drunk at three in the morning or the fact that she was skipping classes and her grades had been dropping. Marissa just could not care about any of this anymore. She was keeping her distance from all of her friends. She wasn't even speaking to Jenna nowadays. The only person she had really been talking to was Shayne. But how could he really understand how she was feeling. And it was not like he even knew most of what she was going through.
Marissa had been in her third hour class, spacing out as usual. The very class that Matt was also in as well. But she did not even notice whether or not he was there. She was just so lost in her own thoughts. So full of guilt, of loathing, of anger. She was still partly drunk from downing a full bottle of vodka that morning, before school. She did not even notice when the teacher kept calling her name until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She jumped and looked up at the adult. And when she was asked to repeat what had been said, Marissa just rolled her eyes. “Why should I fucking care what you said? Why should I even care about your damn class or being taught by a bitch?!” she hissed. This was not like her. She use to be such a good girl. She used to have an A in that class. Not anymore. Her grades in there had been going downhill. Now she had a D in that class.
Grabbing her bag, she stood up and flung it over her shoulder. And without another word, walked out of the classroom. As she walked down the empty hall, Marissa pulled out the bottle of tequila from her bag. She opened the bottle and took a drink from it. She did not even care if she got caught. She didn't care if she got detention or whatever. Why should she? She took another drink, before leaning against a wall and looking around at her own surroundings.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2013 23:25:51 GMT -8
Just not her. He looked at Matt, wondering why that was. He had been watching the two. He wanted nothing to do with Marissa. So why couldn't he kill her? Jack looked at Matt, whose eyes were averting everyone else's. He was too focused on looking out the window to notice anything else. And when Marissa's name was said, Jack looked up at the teacher. His eyes widened at the interaction. Something was obviously wrong. Even someone like him knew how the girl was. Clearing his throat, he spoke up. ''You were discussing the affects that the war had on 1940 economics.'' He smiled at Marissa and winked. When she left, though, he jumped up and rushed after her, muttering an excuse to the teacher. He followed her and saw her pull the bottle out. Well, that was interesting. Since when did Marissa drink?
''Hey,'' he spoke gently, walking over to her and taking a moment to look at her. ''Marissa Manning. You know, that was quite a show back there. Ver entertaining. It did raise a bit of a red flag, though. Why don't you put that away before you get caught and talk to me, eh? I can be a pretty good listener. It's a feminine quality that I inherited from my mum.'' He leaned against the locker beside her, watching her. ''Is this about your mum? You know, nobody knows this. But my parents were slaughtered by the Sniper in front of me. I might be able to help if you'd let me. Or maybe you don't want to talk. Maybe you want to get away? I have a car. I don't normally ditch. But then again, neither do you. And yet, here we are.''
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Marissa Michelle Manning
Grade 10
Degrassi
And she's waiting patiently for the boy who's never going to come back.
Posts: 3,073
|
Post by Marissa Michelle Manning on Mar 4, 2013 18:03:14 GMT -8
Why did people always wanted to help? Couldn't they see that Marissa did not want any help. She did not want anything. And the only person she did want, just did not want her. But she would make him want her again. Even if it was the very last thing that she did. He would see just how much Marissa really did love him. Matt would know that she loved him so much, she would even give up her own life for him. He would learn. All too soon. He would learn. Marissa would make sure of that. She would prove to him that she is worthy of is love.
Taking another drink, Marissa looked up at Jack and just rolled her eyes. “Look, no offense, but my father doesn't even care what I do. So why should you? Huh?” She shook her head, taking another long drink from the bottle, before finally putting it into her bag. That was when Marissa pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a drag from it. “Want one?” She shrugged and looked around. “I don't want to stay here, but I really don't want to go with you either.” She stared at the older boy, taking another drag from her cigarette.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2013 19:45:02 GMT -8
Jack was taken aback. She said NO. But NOBODY ever said no! He didn't understand. He listened to her, half paying attention. He just couldn't understand it. If her father was that much of a wanker, then why DIDN'T she want to go with him? He was every father's nightmare. And looking at her, it wasn't as if it was unthinkable that he would want her. She was hot. At least, by the basketball players' standards. Putting his hands up, he gave an innocent shrug. Before he could speak, though, they were interrupted by Vice Principal Snyder. ''Marissa Manning!'' he looked over his shoulder. He had seen enough kids get in trouble to know that he wasn't going to be easy on her at all. Snatching the bottle, he put it to his lips, just as Snyder reached them. ''Smoking? I really don't think your MOTHER would like that, do you? I think three weeks of detention might help curb your little HABIT.''
Jack lowered the bottle, watching him. He hadn't even acknowledged him. There was something about the older man that reminded him of his pop. That bastard. That was one murder long-awaited. His pop always had ways of making Amery feel like dirt. And even now, with Amery behind him, Jack still loathed him. And there was a small part of Amery that rested inside him that wanted to take vengeance, wanted to kill the man where he stood. But he knew he couldn't do that. But there was one thing he could do. ''Fuck off, Snyder. I think she's had enough of that shit. Leave her be.''
William's eyes narrowed. Looking at the young man, he scoffed. ''Is that alcohol, Mr. Basely? I expect more from our star basketball player. Hand it here and I will let you off with a warning.''
Jack looked at the bottle. He didn't care for it. But hand it over? When he was trying to win Marissa over? He didn't think that was wise. He had learned quite a bit from the kids in this school. Grand gestures. That was what they liked here. It was funny. He could take a life without a care, and yet what he was about to do made him nervous. He almost changed his mind. But, it was means to an end. He glanced at Marissa with a wink before answering the man. ''Hand it over? I think I can do that.'' The hand holding the bottle reached out, as if waiting for Snyder to reach up and take it. Then, with a flick of the wrist, he turned the bottle over and poured it on the man's head. He wore a cocky smirk, but was inwardly panicked. He was getting in trouble. Whether he be Amery or Jack, he NEVER liked trouble.
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